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It wasn't her problem, it was his problem, and he hated getting the feeling that he had made her feel bad. Throughout knowing each other, he had always been the strong one. He had been scared or nervous at times, but he had never let it show. Haven had been the pillar that she could lean against and now she was seeing that pillar wasn't really as strong as she had thought. The man did his best to hide his insecurities and weaknesses. It wasn't only a part of his job but he wanted people to view him as strong. He wanted people to see him and know that they could depend upon him to do what was right. That veneer hadn't cracked in a long time, but it was crumbled now. What Princess was seeing now was more akin to what he had been before Cour des Miracles had been founded. A pathetic scared boy who was all kinds of mixed up. Haven wanted to be forever strong in her eyes, but he couldn't be. It was too much to ask of him, of anyone.
Her words entered his ears, but he still couldn't bring himself to look up at her. Yes, if she had wanted to go after Ares, she probably already would have. That was what was logical. However, with the Siobhan situation, it hadn't been logical at all. She hadn't even had a bond with her brother, and she left anyway. Princess did have a bond with Ares, even if he had broken it by leaving. Haven understood better than most how strong that sibling bond was and he just didn't know if his bond with her could compete with that. He wanted it to be stronger, but he'd been proven wrong in the past. The last thing he wanted was for history to repeat itself.
When she finished speaking he slowly managed to look back up to her, his posture still submissive and his eyes still holding a shamed and guilty light. "I didn't mean to question you," he said softly. His own imagination had run away with him, it had nothing to do with her. "I'm not perfect Princess. I was broken in the past and while I do a fairly good job of covering up the cracks, they're still there." Haven looked away briefly again, hesitantly meeting her gaze once more. "I'm sorry about this. It wasn't a problem with you, it was a problem with me. I was wrong to not talk to you about right away, but I was scared." He wanted her forgiveness, but even he wasn't sure if he deserved it.
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