OHMAHB'JEZUS
Where were her thoughts supposed to begin, or how was her mind supposed to react? It wasn’t easy to know where all of this started for Mati. She had never seen herself here; wanting so badly to be with Cambria and feeling so lucky to be as they were. It hadn’t been her plan, but who’s life always followed what their naïve and inexperienced-self set out? Things changed, and that was what Cambia was bringing to Mati. Along with all the other wonderful things that she gave her the younger woman was showing her that change was not always a horrific thing. Of course, as she stood and watched the other female scramble to cover herself Mati was feeling her world change once more. It was the way she had fallen to silence and lost her train of thought when Cambi touched her arms that first day. It was how her breath was taken so quickly and without even a second’s thought when Cambi’s lithe arms had wrapped themselves around her. Her kiss, the small moment of time when Mati had faced the possibility of loosing her. All of that had changed her. And again, the Marino girl sought to make her different.
I ah, Mati spoke, her voice finally breaking from its cage and meeting the small world that existed in the bright Sun filled room. The door was still in her hand, and Mati was still for many long and arduous seconds. What was she doing? Mati wondered but the question could and would not pass beyond her lips. Her body moved into a swift action and she closed the door, turning away from the other female and shutting it without even a small click of the door handle. She didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what to think for the Church woman had never experienced anything of a sexual nature. Not beyond the kissing that she had experienced with Cambria and she alone. Of course she was not ignorant, understanding to a certain extent, but there were so many thoughts that needed to be worked out in her mind she felt as if she stood with her once again in the middle of her room, arms wrapped around one another for the first time. She was battling the unknown, fighting the fears that had coursed through her the moments before pushing her away and watching Cambi flee from her judgmental and cowardly gaze. Her bottom jaw was still dropped slightly, her heart in her ears and beating quickly from the shock.
Could she? Trying to deal with the surprise of the moment was one thing, but that quickly faded due to the other more pressing emotions that filtered through her. The most powerful was unknown, and it had entered her as a heavy warmth but then buzzed in her stomach and filtered lower. She didn’t know why, and tried to think beyond the noisy feeling. The moment that she took with her back turned and facing the door felt long and drawn out, though Mati did not think she could ever have enough time to gather the mind that had been blown at the sight she had walked in on. She tried to uncover some advice, any words of wisdom that would help her though this awkward moment and nothing seemed to fit. Had someone told her to just let it happen?
Mati turned, the long moment only being a few seconds in reality, and faced the girl. Do you want me to go? She asked. She didn’t know what Cambria would want, not understanding her initial desire that had drawn her here and persuaded her to touch herself in such a way. It had been what she was doing (Mati was almost certain). A large hand was placed on the door behind her, feeling that it was indeed closed. Her chest rose and fell in front of her, and her eyes spoke of how unsure she was. But they searched Cambia’s face, fighting the reoccurring visual that snuck up and stole her minds eye again and again. She was mortified, it was written on her face and Mati knew not how what do or say to calm her own feelings. Its okay... Mati said quietly before her voice left her as quickly as a frightened bird. She wasn’t sure how it would be, but she would make it alright. Some how, in some way. If she wanted her to go, Mati would understand. She could only stand, staring still and not knowing what to do next.
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