M - Pull Me Closer to Love

Mati Church · 08-10-2010, 05:42 PM

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What a mess she had made of things. The beat of her heart slowed, the inevitable sinking into it and weighting it down so far and filling it so much that there was no room for it to contract and thump. Her stomach hurt, and eyes unable to lift themselves to Cambi see her reaction. Then she felt the tightness around her hand and was reminded that Cambria still touched her, still held it. Her heart started again, beating feverously at the contact and she relished the feeling one more time. It didn’t have to change, and yet Mati had changed it all just by speaking those jumbled words. Could she take them back? No, they were out floating listlessly in the air and there was nothing she could do to grasp them and place them back into her throat. A single second later the other female spoke, hearing her name made Mati’s ears turned backwards and flatten. The question was sort of one that she had anticipated.

But it wasn’t said the way she had imagined it, and lacked the doubt and the ridiculousness that she feared Cambria would see in the situation. But she had never truly doubted her, not the sweet woman that had stolen her heart with gentle fingers and held it so kindly and with so much care. No, there was wonderment in it and the taste of tears upon the tone made the Church female look up to check to see if her oceans wept. I never want to be without you. She spoke, finally looking at Cambria and not fearing the journey the green-blue gaze took her on. Only when her voice ceased did she realize how softly she had said them. She hadn’t said yes, but they lack all the unknowing and the insecurities and held the pure want and the more pressing need that she felt.

Forever, she wanted it to last until she no longer breathed and then she hoped that the heaven she had read about it books was real so she could choose an eternity of reliving every moment that they spent together. Her other hand opened, the thing that had lived inside it unfolding and sitting in her palm. Now she fought to break her gaze away, looking down to tie the leather cord around Cambria's small wrist. It wasn’t much, handmade and it wouldn’t last as long as Mati hoped their love would, but she had made it for her. The shells waved, stung together delicately. When she was done Mati looked back at her, more words on the tip of her tongue yet lost to the hopes that Cambia would truly say yes.

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