"[M] We'll be halfway to anywhere" -Evanescence

Itzal · 01-23-2011, 02:50 PM

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1372. Sorry it got so long, hope you aren't to annoyed, and Itzal is get all emotional and deep, awwww, lol XD

Itzal could not help but realize how complicated their situation was. Her pack had killed a member of his, something no pack would forgive easily. And her pack probably would do nothing to try and make things better most likely. Itzal could see where her pack came from, his packmate had trespassed on their land, had been where he wasn't allowed. And Pontiac had mentioned they had pups in the pack, and if his packmate had been on their land, he could be seen as a threat to their pups, and it is not surprising he was killed for being on their land. But his pack was stubborn, and would not see things the way he did, they would only see the blood Pontiac's pack had spilled, not the reasons behind it. So their packs were on to rough an edge for them to ever be at peace. And then there was their age diffrence, she was older then him, beyond his years, but he did not care, she had wanted what had happened between them, so she obviously did not care either. He thought about the wolf she had said she needed to move on from. She had said he was right, she need to move on, and then she had moved to him, and he had taken that step with her, even with their agreement that it was something that could not work out, he had still felt something for her then, but she had come to him when she wanted to move on, but Itzal could not believe she could move on just from that one night, just from that one moment with him. It might take longer, and what if he came back before she moved on? Itzal would lose her, something that actually bothered him. He knew they had obstacles, he knew they were of diffrent packs. He would not ask her to leave her pack, it was her family, and her life. He wondered if he was now part of that life? A permant part maybe? He did not know. But he would not leave his pack either, and hoped she would not ask him to. He was riped between two things he wanted, Pontiac, and his pack, the life he knew so far. He felt himself being pushed to choice, not by her, but by himself. And he was scared. He wished he could just stay here like this, no one knowing about them, and they could just be happy. Cause she did make him happy, when he was with her. But he knew it would not last, eventually, it would all come crashing down, and then, to fix it all, they would have to make a choice. A choice that would cause things to happen. If he could, he would try his hardest to make the choice alone, so any pain it brought would fall on his shoulders. He would protect her, and wait, but he could not help but long for this to work. He knew they had agreed it would not, to many problems, but deep down, in the place where he knew what he truly wanted, he knew, that he wanted this to work out so they could be together. He would hold onto that want, and try to make it a reality.

Itzal longed for the warmth he felt when she was in his arms, and the feeling of content, that in that moment, when she was in his embrace, was something untouchable by anyone else but them, it was for them, and them alone to long for each others embrace, and he would defend that with his life. It did not matter though, if she did not want his embrace, then he would just have to accept it. But for now, it appeared she did. He smiled when he smelled the stew, it smelled delicious. She had not been kidding when she said cooking was a skill of hers. He just hoped it tasted as good as it smelled. He smiled at her when she told him thanks and sorry. "You have no reason to thank me, It was my pleasure, I enjoyed talking with you and..spending time with you the other night. You also have nothing to be sorry for, I do not regret anything, so don't say sorry." He said it with a warm, matter of fact tone. He did not have anything to be thanked for, he did it all willingly and had enjoyed himself, and she did not have to be sorry, he had enjoyed their time together and defintly did not regret it. He would repeat it all in a second. He smiled as he watched her. She brought him some of the stew in a spoon and told him to open up. He chuckles some put opened his mouth and tasted the stew, while looking into her eyes. When the stew touched his tounge he was shocked by how good it was. It tasted ten times better then it smelled. He ate the sample and then licked his lips. "Pontiac, that was the most amazing, totally delicious stew I have ever tasted, and ever will. You have a super talent there." The stew truly was amazing, and he could not get over how good it tasted. He smiled and leaned in and kissed her forhead. "You could have lured me out here without the stew, But thank you anyways, the stew is defintly a great bonus." He smiled then looked at the clearing. This was their place, and no one should be allowed to take it from them.

Itzal watcher her walk back to the stew and followed her. "I'm glad you feel better with me around. I'm great now that I'm here with you, now that I can see the smile that I try to bring to your lips." He wrapped his arms around her waist again, this time keeping them there. He wanted to feel her in his arms to much to see if she would tell him she wanted him to hold her. She had not complained yet, so he figured it was safe. He nuzzled the side of her neck, inhaling her scent. He was surprised that she still held some of his scent. He wondered if she had been ashamed of it after what had happened. He hoped not. He smiled at her question. "nope, didn't even go back to my pack afterwards, I wanted to be alone and think, and I do not even have a permant place to live there yet, so sometimes I just wander and sleep out of pack territories. How about on your end?" He really did not care if anyone knew, he would defend both of them, but it would make things less complicated then it already was if they stayed a secret. He inhaled her scent again. What was it? He could not tell, but he wanted to know, he wanted to know what the scent he would carry with pride and honor if he could was. But now he had to know, he had to ask her. "Pontiac...I know we said we knew it would not work out, but I really do not care, I have feelings for you, even if I tried not to, because I knew it would only complicate things for you, and you probably wouldn't return them. But I have to know if you have any for me, or if I am just someone you go to for relief, just to try and keep your mind off the other male you had feelings for. I know we still probably can not work out, there are a bunch of obstacles, but I at least want to know you want my touch, and you want to be around me, that you want to feel me hold you." He said it slowly, but with a bit of anxiety, afraid of how she would react and what she would say. It was done, he had asked, now he had to wait for the answer. He just hoped it wasn't the one that would destroy him. The sad part is, he did not even know which answer that was.

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