03-13-2011, 02:44 AM
Maybe this lineart can help you plot her back tats?! :O It might help to scour deviantART for some free tribal brushes and play with those. If you're not so good with Photoshop, maybe ask in the Requests forum for someone to play with it for you after you've gotten a general idea of what you want? 
For this, I would maybe suggest rather than describing in in the manner you have, you say that her hearing and sense of smell are exceptionally sharp. Having her "see" through echos actually isn't terribly unrealistic, but even with the heightened sense of a canine, it's not really... hmm, "painting a picture" of the place as it is. I'd say it's realistic to be able to determine surrounding objects' relative distance from the character herself, but not to be able to like, figure out exact details and completely accurate spatial relationships between different objects.
Remember, too, that most of these cases that involve "pictures" of entire areas with sound (even in the Daredevil movie itself, if I remember right? He had rain or the general city noise around him?) required all-encompassing, surrounding noise or at least a source of noise from the person (e.g., the one person on there who made clicking noise, or the more boring example of a blind person using a cane to navigate), so she will have to either make a noise with her mouth or wear some very noisy accessories or, use a cane, etc. You get the idea! Noise.
The beads in her hair could actually serve this function -- a constant, slight, soft tinkling noise from movement of her hair (assuming she has quite a few in there) would mess up most element of surprise and the stealth element you have plotted for her, but with as many weapons as she has... X3 A weakness is a good thing to have, too!
Speaking of the weapons -- with as many as she has, she should also be well-versed in the maintenance of weaponry, as well. Swords and daggers need sharpening, and they do sometimes break or get gunked up!
Hmm. I don't think there's anything wrong with playing an extremely loyal character -- one of mine, Sicarus, was something like that; he followed people he respected pretty much blindly, with little to no concern for his own safety. Buuut, I think a lack of personality -- especially to the point where they refuse interaction unless told to interact -- can make the character very difficult for you to roleplay out. :O It might not be easy to write many posts where she sits there blankly, and even if you do write these posts, they won't be easy for fellow roleplayers to respond to! Beyond that, it can also make interaction itself difficult. I like that she does break out of this shell occasionally, suggesting there is a deeper personality to her, but again, I worry that these moments are only brought around by certain, specific individuals.
Maybe you could give her a very basic personality? My extremely-loyal character was, outside of his loyalty, a very sadistic and nasty person. Other examples could be a loyal person who thinks of following orders as a playing a game (herp derp, Animorphs, spoiler warning here if want more information). She seems as if she should be a kind-hearted person, and to be honest, that's not my strong point with characters. XD Others can probably help you a bit more with this.
Just a comment on this sentence's structure itself -- it's a bit of a run-on and it confused me a little! I wasn't sure whether the large group of Luperci in Nova Scotia had gotten into the fight or if the group where Elena lived got into a fight. I had to read it over a few times before I understood it properly. ^^; Maybe consider breaking this up a bit!
Hmm. For this part, I would maybe change the part about the surviving members -- if her primary motivation was escaping the place where she was raised and her secondary motivation was stopping them from hurting others, I would think this could easily turn to vengeance! This might have her, as a character, become "bored" with the lifestyle here, as it might feel more natural to her character to go back to Paris and seek vengeance on her former captors. Maybe instead, she could inherit a general protective instinct, wherein she wants to stop any and ALL bad things from happening to her superiors or those she cares about?
Another part of her background that I don't fully understand is the motivation and actions of the cultish place where she was raised. They kidnapped children, but they were for "good" -- by good, do you mean the Parisian cult's OWN good, their OWN benefit rather than the general benefit of everyone? :3 I kinda get the feeling that this is what you meant, but some of the language isn't clear. :O
You might also consider giving her an ability that isn't related to combat -- perhaps this can be something you motivate her toward once she's in 'Souls? She could discover that she really likes... say, playing music, something that's a bit far-out and out of place for her. I could see her perhaps being really excited and happy to have something new and different in her life, and then maybe a bit later some of her old training/lifestyle kicks in and she starts to regret getting involved and compromising/distracting herself, etc. She seems very unwillingly militaristic and desirous of change, although indoctrinated to the point that she would grapple with actually changing.
Derp, that is unnecessarily long, I think. :| But maybe you'll find it helpful -- I think you have the potential for a really interesting character, but you do have to make sure that you keep her interesting to roleplay outside of combat situations, too!
Quote:She is blind since birth but has a different way of seeing, having lost the sense she is able to create a map of the area while hearing and smelling (something like daredevil dude).
For this, I would maybe suggest rather than describing in in the manner you have, you say that her hearing and sense of smell are exceptionally sharp. Having her "see" through echos actually isn't terribly unrealistic, but even with the heightened sense of a canine, it's not really... hmm, "painting a picture" of the place as it is. I'd say it's realistic to be able to determine surrounding objects' relative distance from the character herself, but not to be able to like, figure out exact details and completely accurate spatial relationships between different objects.
Remember, too, that most of these cases that involve "pictures" of entire areas with sound (even in the Daredevil movie itself, if I remember right? He had rain or the general city noise around him?) required all-encompassing, surrounding noise or at least a source of noise from the person (e.g., the one person on there who made clicking noise, or the more boring example of a blind person using a cane to navigate), so she will have to either make a noise with her mouth or wear some very noisy accessories or, use a cane, etc. You get the idea! Noise.
The beads in her hair could actually serve this function -- a constant, slight, soft tinkling noise from movement of her hair (assuming she has quite a few in there) would mess up most element of surprise and the stealth element you have plotted for her, but with as many weapons as she has... X3 A weakness is a good thing to have, too!
Speaking of the weapons -- with as many as she has, she should also be well-versed in the maintenance of weaponry, as well. Swords and daggers need sharpening, and they do sometimes break or get gunked up!
Quote:She pretty much lacks one as she has been trained since youth to do so. She obeys orders without question and when finished she may just stand there doing nothing.
Hmm. I don't think there's anything wrong with playing an extremely loyal character -- one of mine, Sicarus, was something like that; he followed people he respected pretty much blindly, with little to no concern for his own safety. Buuut, I think a lack of personality -- especially to the point where they refuse interaction unless told to interact -- can make the character very difficult for you to roleplay out. :O It might not be easy to write many posts where she sits there blankly, and even if you do write these posts, they won't be easy for fellow roleplayers to respond to! Beyond that, it can also make interaction itself difficult. I like that she does break out of this shell occasionally, suggesting there is a deeper personality to her, but again, I worry that these moments are only brought around by certain, specific individuals.
Maybe you could give her a very basic personality? My extremely-loyal character was, outside of his loyalty, a very sadistic and nasty person. Other examples could be a loyal person who thinks of following orders as a playing a game (herp derp, Animorphs, spoiler warning here if want more information). She seems as if she should be a kind-hearted person, and to be honest, that's not my strong point with characters. XD Others can probably help you a bit more with this.
Quote:She was to be taken to Nova Scotia as words had reached them of a large group of Luperci there and they were in need of new members as the numbers had been dwindling after a hard fight with some gang of wolves that had intruded upon the ancient building.
Just a comment on this sentence's structure itself -- it's a bit of a run-on and it confused me a little! I wasn't sure whether the large group of Luperci in Nova Scotia had gotten into the fight or if the group where Elena lived got into a fight. I had to read it over a few times before I understood it properly. ^^; Maybe consider breaking this up a bit!
Quote:...she was tired of being used as a tool than a being and she was more than ready to stop the surviving members from carrying on with their mission. So from that day she wanders alone with no actual destination and pretty much just observing...
Hmm. For this part, I would maybe change the part about the surviving members -- if her primary motivation was escaping the place where she was raised and her secondary motivation was stopping them from hurting others, I would think this could easily turn to vengeance! This might have her, as a character, become "bored" with the lifestyle here, as it might feel more natural to her character to go back to Paris and seek vengeance on her former captors. Maybe instead, she could inherit a general protective instinct, wherein she wants to stop any and ALL bad things from happening to her superiors or those she cares about?
Another part of her background that I don't fully understand is the motivation and actions of the cultish place where she was raised. They kidnapped children, but they were for "good" -- by good, do you mean the Parisian cult's OWN good, their OWN benefit rather than the general benefit of everyone? :3 I kinda get the feeling that this is what you meant, but some of the language isn't clear. :O
You might also consider giving her an ability that isn't related to combat -- perhaps this can be something you motivate her toward once she's in 'Souls? She could discover that she really likes... say, playing music, something that's a bit far-out and out of place for her. I could see her perhaps being really excited and happy to have something new and different in her life, and then maybe a bit later some of her old training/lifestyle kicks in and she starts to regret getting involved and compromising/distracting herself, etc. She seems very unwillingly militaristic and desirous of change, although indoctrinated to the point that she would grapple with actually changing.
Derp, that is unnecessarily long, I think. :| But maybe you'll find it helpful -- I think you have the potential for a really interesting character, but you do have to make sure that you keep her interesting to roleplay outside of combat situations, too!