03-14-2011, 03:05 PM
I think you did a good job fleshing out Aslan's persona and life 
a few of the places seem like you might have left something out or could use more detail like "a wolf saved her" or "one day she began to grow ill". besides that, he sounds exiting!
a few of the places seem like you might have left something out or could use more detail like "a wolf saved her" or "one day she began to grow ill". besides that, he sounds exiting!