10-03-2011, 07:33 PM
OOC: Sorry it just kept comin. The whole threatening her life really pissed Saxif off.
The guilt was great as she allowed the anger spill from the girl that power she had missed so much showing within her. She lowered her head as Jager shifted from side to side wondering what was the hold up. Then Shiloh’s words shifted to grasp hold of the angry beast within the huntress. She felt her brow furrow and her heart quicken and pound as though it were ready to burst. It was this that drove her most crazy in all this for it was the one thing she ever used to try to keep her there. She dismounted her horse after Shiloh handed her the fox her body completely hostile in nature. She didn’t know how she looked to Shiloh in that moment but she couldn’t hold back anymore. She walked right up to her completely and utterly enraged. She raised her hand and pointed a finger at her.
How dare you! How dare you, accuse me of being blind to your love for one. For it kills me inside to see it everyday and not be able to return it as you want. How dare you, spit on the very essence of our friends our family that worked so hard to keep you alive twice. Friends, who love you, miss you, maybe even more so than myself. You would make their struggles their efforts all for not? A complete waste of time? She stepped forward waving her finger, her voice was fierce but as she approached her next sentences they had begun to weaken into a struggling tone. It was clear she was on the verge of tears but she fought against them not willing to break down. And how dare you use this threat against the one you love. She fought a gasping weep in that moment.
You have made my life a prison when once I was free with you, to be as I was. I know I have changed I wish I had not, I don’t deny my changes my anger I only resent it. It has come between us just as much as that demon that resides within you. I cannot control mine it is true but the longer I am here the longer I am shackled to watch over you I don’t see myself ever returning to as I was. She couldn’t hold it anymore everything was just holding upon her too much that she want to destroy everything in her path rather than cry. The fact that Shiloh was there though had kept her from exploding. She clenched her fists but could no longer hold it so she instead dropped to the ground gripping her knees tightly hoping this struggle could be detained.
Why can’t you see that if I stay here I will only hurt you more? I love you too much to allow that to happen. So please Shiloh please don’t end your life because of me, I am merely a weak person trying to stay strong. You deserve so much more than me, you deserve someone who will love you for all that you are and not hate half of you. You deserve someone who can really see just how strong you are, how beautiful you are and just how amazingly kind you are. You deserve someone so much better than a bitter bitch who just doesn’t get it. She gasped in bursts through the words as the weeping began. She didn’t know what to do anymore, didn’t know what else she could say or do that would fuck everything up more. Then the beast threw a thought in her mind something that had been chewing at her since she first noticed it. It was enough to get her to stand and approach Jager once more with a fury rekindled. You deserve the female I smell upon you so often… for anyone at this point is better than having me as a mate. She jumped upon Jager’s back and kicked him into gear.
She really hoped Shiloh would take her words to heart, for it was true in her mind that Saxif could never love her as she once did. Her heart was blackening with a darkness she didn't know how to stop. Her home gone, her mate lost and now her own mind completely at war it was clear she could not stay. She felt the small fox still gripped tightly in her hand as she rode with the reigns. She wished she could one day return, one day return the wooden figure with true intent of loving the scarred girl. Then she started to justify her action hoping instead of feeling like she had merely just given up. That maybe, just maybe this would be good for Shiloh and herself for they had come to depend on each other's love so much it was crippling them to live.
The guilt was great as she allowed the anger spill from the girl that power she had missed so much showing within her. She lowered her head as Jager shifted from side to side wondering what was the hold up. Then Shiloh’s words shifted to grasp hold of the angry beast within the huntress. She felt her brow furrow and her heart quicken and pound as though it were ready to burst. It was this that drove her most crazy in all this for it was the one thing she ever used to try to keep her there. She dismounted her horse after Shiloh handed her the fox her body completely hostile in nature. She didn’t know how she looked to Shiloh in that moment but she couldn’t hold back anymore. She walked right up to her completely and utterly enraged. She raised her hand and pointed a finger at her.
How dare you! How dare you, accuse me of being blind to your love for one. For it kills me inside to see it everyday and not be able to return it as you want. How dare you, spit on the very essence of our friends our family that worked so hard to keep you alive twice. Friends, who love you, miss you, maybe even more so than myself. You would make their struggles their efforts all for not? A complete waste of time? She stepped forward waving her finger, her voice was fierce but as she approached her next sentences they had begun to weaken into a struggling tone. It was clear she was on the verge of tears but she fought against them not willing to break down. And how dare you use this threat against the one you love. She fought a gasping weep in that moment.
You have made my life a prison when once I was free with you, to be as I was. I know I have changed I wish I had not, I don’t deny my changes my anger I only resent it. It has come between us just as much as that demon that resides within you. I cannot control mine it is true but the longer I am here the longer I am shackled to watch over you I don’t see myself ever returning to as I was. She couldn’t hold it anymore everything was just holding upon her too much that she want to destroy everything in her path rather than cry. The fact that Shiloh was there though had kept her from exploding. She clenched her fists but could no longer hold it so she instead dropped to the ground gripping her knees tightly hoping this struggle could be detained.
Why can’t you see that if I stay here I will only hurt you more? I love you too much to allow that to happen. So please Shiloh please don’t end your life because of me, I am merely a weak person trying to stay strong. You deserve so much more than me, you deserve someone who will love you for all that you are and not hate half of you. You deserve someone who can really see just how strong you are, how beautiful you are and just how amazingly kind you are. You deserve someone so much better than a bitter bitch who just doesn’t get it. She gasped in bursts through the words as the weeping began. She didn’t know what to do anymore, didn’t know what else she could say or do that would fuck everything up more. Then the beast threw a thought in her mind something that had been chewing at her since she first noticed it. It was enough to get her to stand and approach Jager once more with a fury rekindled. You deserve the female I smell upon you so often… for anyone at this point is better than having me as a mate. She jumped upon Jager’s back and kicked him into gear.
She really hoped Shiloh would take her words to heart, for it was true in her mind that Saxif could never love her as she once did. Her heart was blackening with a darkness she didn't know how to stop. Her home gone, her mate lost and now her own mind completely at war it was clear she could not stay. She felt the small fox still gripped tightly in her hand as she rode with the reigns. She wished she could one day return, one day return the wooden figure with true intent of loving the scarred girl. Then she started to justify her action hoping instead of feeling like she had merely just given up. That maybe, just maybe this would be good for Shiloh and herself for they had come to depend on each other's love so much it was crippling them to live.