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It's kinda the way I'm feelin'
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She felt stupid to have thought that she could hide it. Of course they would notice--she'd been getting a little bigger. The pups had been small, but there had been many of them..six. An unnaturally large litter for a first-time mother. Somehow, though, she knew that she and Conri would have been able to handle it. They were good together, despite the arguments that they sometimes got in. What relationships didn't have their little problems? It would have been stranger if they'd had a perfect mateship. "How's your leg? Sorry I haven't been around." She'd wanted to check on her more often, but she had been afraid of coming back. She had taken the children to the place where they had come from, to the border of those burned, charred lands, and buried them. "I took them to be buried with my father...but I couldn't navigate through those lands. I only made it a little ways into them before I knew I'd have to turn back. It was frightening..being by myself there after the fire. It's where my adopted sister Dierdre died..in that stupid fire. Her son is running around here...sometimes both of her sons. Sirius and Apollo.
It wasn't just these pups that were on her mind, but Dierdre too. If the female hadn't given birth right then, right during the fire, then both her and her puppies might have made it. Instead, only Sirius and Apollo had come out alive. And even after that they'd had problems and had required constant monitoring.
"I love Conri, but he's going to be so mad at me. I talked to the coyotes behind his back...they hurt him so badly. But I had to do it--or we wouldn't be safe. And then I fell...I just don't know. I want to curl up and sleep forever...I feel so tired. But I can't go back to the house yet."
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