ooc
I guess I'll bleed in silence
The way he spoke about her, Lubomir guessed immediately that he was her mate, the father of the unborn pups. He felt saddened. Somehow, he had wished he would be the saviour, the one to bring back her smile. But now he understood the futility of his own desires. She was promised to this wolf and nothing Lubomir did or said would change it. Besides, it seemed that there was passion, if not love between them. He thought of Ember. She had been placed in a safe corner of his heart, as if that would offer the protection she would lack otherwise. Because she would eventually be dragged into this mess too. It was the way of the world. That was how things happened.
Slowly, he drew his attention back and listened carefully to Haku. He was right. Their options were few and most of them simply ended in more bloodshed. But to sit back like this and worry... Sturm und Drang. Storm and Stress. He remembered reading about it in a book. This is what it felt like, then. To be caught in stress and storms. Inner and outer. Somehow, Lubomir felt like laughing. At himself. At his own foolishness.
'Do you know, I nearly fell in love with her?' The words escaped his mouth before he knew certainly what he was saying.
'She was so frail. So alone. How mistaken I was. Who knew that you were out here to save her? And me, all I could offer her was my word that I would come if she asked me too. I do not wish to seem crass. But she was so beautiful in her broken frame. In the moment when I looked into her eyes, she was the most beautiful creature on this infested land.' He knew he sounded bitter, but he couldn't help but feel jealous of this male, who tonight would be holding Mew close to his form.
Lubomir sighed and looked at the ground again. His insides were twisting and turning and everything seemed so stupid and futile. Yes, war. Yes, death. Yes, destruction, pain, loss. Yes to all the demons running loose in this world. But to him, in this small selfish moment, all that mattered was that he would not be the one to hold Mew through all the pain. That eventually he would return to his cold den to brood. Lubomir knew he was no hero. But not it seemed like he'd been a hypocrite, to act so professionally when he could only think such thoughts about her. When he'd ignored his heart's beating for Ember in favour of his pity for the white angel.
