07-15-2008, 10:37 PM
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Conri didn't even feel like himself, he seemed so cold, so distant, he even felt that way, Soran could barely feel his heartbeat or his breathing, he even felt chilled to the touch, it was like hugging a marble statue. And yet the dark lady continued, he was just shocked to see her, that was all it was, she was sure of it, maybe this time he wouldn't forgive her, maybe this was why he was being so unresponsive. The jade eyed lady mused over this as she held her son, he would not be without his reasons to shun her this time, years of endless forgiveness, unrelenting acceptance, constantly being her saviour would have clearly taken its toll and Soran knew that there was only so many times you could push something before it broke, perhaps her last dissapearance was the last straw for her son. If that was the case then the dark warrior would not argue, she had done so many things, so many terrible things, some that Conri knew and some that Conri did not know, it was about time that Karma caught up with her, she would not deserve to be forgiven again, she did not deserve her son's acceptance for a long time, and yet she had recieved it each and every time she had returned to him. Should he decide that this was indeed the final straw, that his capacity for dealing with his mother's many issues and misdeeds had been reached, then Soran would go without argument, she had been forgiven enough times already, she had been blessed enough times, it would be enough to know that her son was alive and safe.
Soran had already readied herself for the crushing blow of her own son asking her to leave, to not return, to stay out of his life, although she would agree without argument and accept her son's choice, but that did not mean that it would not hurt, it did not mean that she wouldn't skulk away into the shadows and sit by Phasma's and her other dead children's grave and mourn all that she had lost, it did not mean that she would not wallow in self pity until eventually starvation claimed her and she would slip away into the gentle clutches of death, able to endlessly sleep beside those she had loved and await her other loved ones.
But this idea was wiped from the obsidian lady's mind as her son's arm was wrapped around her, her heart skipped, this seemed to be a sign of acceptance, she smiled softly. Soran found herself wishing that they were all here, Deuce, Khaden and Dhalia and little Naniko (she still had to remind herself that Naniko wasn't so small anymore) she wished her whole family was there around her, but for now she was truly overjoyed to be able to stand with her eldest son and know that he was alive and well. A sad smile followed this idea, there were plenty of her loved ones who were not so alive and well, Phasma, Maeve, Iikka, Summer, they were all gone and she missed them all. The newest addition to her list of lost loved ones was her latest litter of pups, all gone one morning, with no reason, she had for once been a good mother, she had stopped her abuse of alcohol and drugs, she had eaten everyday, she had not attempted suicide and yet these pups were the ones to die, she had wanted them, they had been her redemption almost, her attonement for her past sins with Khaden and Dhalia's siblings, and even Maeve and hers. And they had been lost, she should have been returning home carrying them, if all had gone to plan she would have been introducing Conri to his younger brothers and sisters. But they were all lost.
With the thought of loss, Soran realised what was wrong with Conri, there was something missing, like he had lost part of himself somewhere, had had it stolen from him, leaving him as a shadow of his former self. Gently the dark lady leant away from her son, allowing him to leave his arm around her, reaching up to place a dark palm against his russet cheek, she stroked the soft fur there with her thumb. With her other hand she brushed her unruly mane from her eyes, finally she found her voice again. "What's wrong son?" She asked softly, staring into his eyes, once they had been endless green pools, teaming with life, depthless, a new facet of his personality shown in them every second, but now... it was like looking into the eyes of a corpse, there was nothing there anymore, it was like looking into frosted glass, nothing was visable behind them.
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