I've been down this road and back again...

[Soran Aatte]

[html]OOC:// Word count: 756

IC://

Motherhood had never been something that the ebony fae had evern anticipated or expected, she had never particularly wanted to be a mother, the pups that she had carried had, for the most part, been abused and mistreated before they had even left the womb, Soran had poisoned them with drink and drugs. Now having lost a litter that she had wanted, that she had cared for, now staring into her eldest son's eyes she had no idea why she had ever felt that way, the hollow emptiness that she had felt during her pregnancies seemed more than foolish, there was nothing in the world that was more powerful than the love a mother felt for her child. And now, as she stood with her red boy, who now bore the scars of life, both physically (it was difficult to ignore the empty space where a slender red furred limb had once existed) and emotionally, it was clear in his eyes, the world seemed to have trampled him whilst Soran had been wandering around the lands, a pang of guilt shot across the jade eyed lady's chest at this thought.

Gently the ebony mother stroked her son's cheek with her thumb, standing in silence, gazing into his dead eyes, awaiting a reply with anticipation, but not pushing him to make one, allowing him to speak when he felt ready. If a name was stated, if it was a living creature that had hurt her boy then she would have no qualms about dismembering the wolf, or coyote, that had hurt Conri, her eldest, ever-loving, ever-forgiving boy, her child. Soran found a desperate need to protect her son burning in the pit of her stomach, she wished she could bundle him up and protect him from the evils of the world, but he was a grown male, and that was not the way the world worked, even the most sheltered life could easily be tinged with pain.

Soran's velvet ears shifted forwards to catch the barely audible whisper that escaped her son's lips. The word father registered in the dark lady's mind, and her heart leapt, her son having pups of his own, more of her bloodline to run around, another chance to redeem herself, she could never pretend to have been the perfect mother, usually she could barely claim that she had even been a passable mother, but as a grandmother, perhaps, just perhaps she could prove that there was something maternal buried within her. The green eyed lady was elated, such joyful news, had the pups been concieved with Little Naniko, was the little pup she had cared so much for starting her own family? Why was Conri so sad over this wonderous piece of news? Why were his eyes so glazed and cold? Why was he not elated, shouting the news from the treetops?

And then finally the impact of the other words around father hit home, was, that terrible past tense, the tiny word coming with such a huge amount of pain and sorrow, the small give away that something awful had happened. Soran instantly knew how her boy felt, after all, she was going to be a mother, and not so long ago, she knew that losing a child was the most painful experience any parent would ever have to go through.
"I was going to be a mother again..." Soran replied, her voice thoughtful as she lost herself in her own trail of thought, a trail of names and potential birthdates, imagining what her children would look like, would they grow to be like her or Akaro? Would they have the same nature as their older brother? Or be more tempestuous like their father? And now she would never know, there would never be a chance to hold her pups in her arms and tell them that she loved them, the ebony lady would never be able to comfort them or help them.

But she was able to comfort this pup, her eldest boy, who would be eternally youthful to her, he would always be the young pup who had been so curious about the world around him, so inquisitive, so full of excitement for life. And the obsidian fae would always be there for the pup who has saved her countless times without ever knowing. Slowly, tentatively she moved to embrace her son again, wrapping her arms around him tightly, trying to comfort her boy.
"What happened? Sweetheart, who, when?" She murmured, resting her dark head upon his russet shoulder. [/html]