[M] [AW] I never thought I'd be in bloom...

Augustus · 03-22-2012, 11:21 AM

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ooc Sorry for the wait, and I love exploring this side of him, don't see it often enough xD. WC: 683

Augustus

The pressure of the Alpha’s eyes upon him sent an unexpected chill down his spine. If he were to lose control, the consequences were clear and he retreated a step back from Ciara, however reluctantly. Her tantalizing scent continued to plague him despite the move and he found himself pulled towards her again. But how nice it would be to lose control…just once…Her eyes met his and his fur bristled. A shudder ran down his spine and suddenly it was his gaze retreating. It withdrew to the earth below them, remaining there even as her gaze wandered the contours of his body. He was conscious suddenly, turning the grisly side of his face from her. The wounds were old, but no less ugly, not less extensive. The fur had grown to try to reclaim them, but they were wide enough not to matter. The fur would never fully conceal them. Perhaps they were a good thing, the trademark of a monster, a constant cautionary sight screaming at her to ‘stay away.’ Whatever happened between them, it would only end in pain. He knew it, he would hurt her, whether he wished to or not. He was relieved when she no longer advanced on him so aggressively, and tried to keep his breathing under control, shallow for the sake of her maddening heat-scent.

He was a beast of restraint, where it mattered, anyways. Duty first, always. His obsession with Ciara had to come second to the needs of his pack, but their needs were now the same, both Epsilon’s. He began to realize that he could no longer use his rank as an excuse. He shuffled his paws in discomfort, before reclining his haunches and sitting. He felt her nose in the thick fur of his throat and turned head to nuzzle the top of her head, his eyes closing a moment. He withdrew again, unable to fully turn away, but unable to act on his desires, either. He lifted his head to gaze imploringly at the moon, hoping its silvery form would grant him clarity. An ear twitched and he was soon turning back to her. To his surprise he enjoyed having her so close, despite her alluring scent and the call of his instincts. Her company…it was comforting. He no longer felt so alone. Though he was a part of a pack, and important one at that, he could not help but feel isolated from his brothers and sisters from time to time. He was different from the rest of them, purer, but also wilder. He couldn’t help but feel that they watched him closely, like he was a ticking-time bomb ready to go off at a moment’s notice, and he surely felt that way.

“Ciara…” He sighed finally after a long silence. It was clear what they both wanted, and there was no better time to address it. She did not tease him any longer, and that made things easier for the both of them. Perhaps they could talk now. They had been silent on this for too long. “You don’t want me.” He started. “I’m…I’m a monster. I’d only hurt you, not intentionally, but somewhere down the line…” He turned his face away, but the words did not cease. It had been too long, he turned to face her again. “But I want you…and I can’t resist you forever.” He poured out his heart to her, his face grim and sad. It was clear that it pained him to say these things. “You deserve someone better. No matter how hard I try I am my father's son, I know that now, and sooner or later I'll do something terrible. I don't want you to be dragged down with me." He’d never spoken of his father to Ciara, nor anyone else. But now, should she still want him he would have to tell her. The things he’d seen his father do, and the things he wanted to do. He was no better than Lionel in many ways, though he strived not to be. There were some things that would not change.

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