12-04-2007, 07:15 AM
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Nightmares had never really been a problem for him, even with all of the tragedies that had acculturated throughout his three long years of life. Sleep had been a black hole, a void that sucked in all of his thoughts and numbed him into nothing for a few hours. When the monster had awakened somewhere, he still did not dream, probably because he was never really asleep anymore -- but there were no flashes or even vague memories of what had transpired in those times when someone else took control of his wretched body, but now. And yet now, there were shadows in his head to fill in the holes that had been abandoned by something else and he could not sleep any more.
He feared for his daughter because he knew he was unpredictable. Ryoujoku had now reared his ugly head in some days, maybe a week already, but there had been breaks before and he did not trust himself. Rachias did not seem to have a bad relationship with the demon; indeed, she seemed to prefer the other, but that brought even less comfort. Maybe she wouldn't be hurt physically, but her mind would corrupt and she would become another monster in the night, another blemish weighing down on his heart and soul, and he felt selfish even just thinking of her as such. She deserved better, but she was too stubborn to see just why she was better off in Inferni and Laruku had yet to come up with the courage to tell her exactly how much of a wicked creature he really was.
The tattered alpha sat on the riverbank staring at nothing. Unless it was a dead body floating along in the water in his head. In his head. Except it had been real once. His throat throbbed dully, but he tried not to think about why or all of the things that had led up to the fact that his throat had almost been torn out. Almost. It should have been, but there he was once again, still, relentlessly living even after everything he had done. Sometimes he felt like he had become the world's most bitter and cruel joke.
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Nightmares had never really been a problem for him, even with all of the tragedies that had acculturated throughout his three long years of life. Sleep had been a black hole, a void that sucked in all of his thoughts and numbed him into nothing for a few hours. When the monster had awakened somewhere, he still did not dream, probably because he was never really asleep anymore -- but there were no flashes or even vague memories of what had transpired in those times when someone else took control of his wretched body, but now. And yet now, there were shadows in his head to fill in the holes that had been abandoned by something else and he could not sleep any more.
He feared for his daughter because he knew he was unpredictable. Ryoujoku had now reared his ugly head in some days, maybe a week already, but there had been breaks before and he did not trust himself. Rachias did not seem to have a bad relationship with the demon; indeed, she seemed to prefer the other, but that brought even less comfort. Maybe she wouldn't be hurt physically, but her mind would corrupt and she would become another monster in the night, another blemish weighing down on his heart and soul, and he felt selfish even just thinking of her as such. She deserved better, but she was too stubborn to see just why she was better off in Inferni and Laruku had yet to come up with the courage to tell her exactly how much of a wicked creature he really was.
The tattered alpha sat on the riverbank staring at nothing. Unless it was a dead body floating along in the water in his head. In his head. Except it had been real once. His throat throbbed dully, but he tried not to think about why or all of the things that had led up to the fact that his throat had almost been torn out. Almost. It should have been, but there he was once again, still, relentlessly living even after everything he had done. Sometimes he felt like he had become the world's most bitter and cruel joke.