Tides that I tried to swim against
#4
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Kansas' biggest wish was that things between he and his older sister had stayed like they'd been when he was younger. She'd been a huge comfort to him, with Firefly disappearing and his mother going off soon after. He wished there was a way to show her how grateful he was - he wanted to say it, but it wasn't exactly something you could verbalize. And then all of this had happened, making it even more difficult. He wanted to turn things around as much as she did.



She opened her eyes a little more, and immediately looked less listless becase of their vibrancy. He really hoped she had not been asleep - something told him, however, that she hadn't. He was careful not to stand too close, worried that she might think he would try something again. Even though they'd been intoxicated, he desperately hoped she didn't see him as one of those pigs who only wanted one thing.


He couldn't tell from her position that she was pregnant - or maybe he'd just not been paying attention. It made him feel a little strange, but he knew that was wrong. The pale boy wanted to congratulate her, but it seemed out-of-place. He simply gave her a smile, wondering why she wasn't upstairs, resting in her room where fools like himself didn't go wandering through. Maybe it was brighter down here.


He nodded, his smile fading slightly. I'm all right - I...For a few moments he'd been preoccupied with the idea of Naniko having puppies, but her words brought everything back to him. Little brother. It felt like a slap in the face, though he knew she hadn't at all meant it that way. He was horrid; he was scum. Kansas' eyes tingled; he felt like crying but didn't dare allow himself to in front of her. No - no, I'm sorry. It was my fault... I'm afraid I messed up everything for you. His gaze flickered from her eyes to the floor, unsure of where to settle. I'm so sorry.


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