[M] She's standing in the heart of darkness...

Augustus · 06-01-2012, 02:57 PM

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Ooc: Terrible post, sorry :/ WC 925

His yellow eyes burned into her as he watched and waited for her to eat. He was angry with her for what she’d been doing to herself. His golden girl’s fur was coarse and dull, unhealthy, and her face looked much too gaunt. Where was the strength he’d seen in her? Where was the girl that had taken on a cougar, the one who’d refused to give in as heavily wounded as she had been? He towered over her, watching and waiting with bated breath. When at last she tore into the flesh did he exhale and recline to his black dusted haunches. He watched with constant scrutiny, gaging her every expression, her every move. He stiffened when she came to lick his chin, but the caress of her tongue stilled him, and he closed his eyes a moment. That small act of total and utter submission calmed the beast, and his yellow eyes softened in their gaze. Their eyes met and a small chill ran down his spine. He suddenly felt more sure of himself, and with her assurances ceased to pace.

He paused, wondering where to begin. I--you know I’m not from here… He started, a little hesitant at first, but the softness of her gaze comforted him, and he continued without pause. My home is many moons from here, to the north and west. It is a different world up there, harder. The wolves there, they aren’t like the wolves here. They are harder too, it is how we are made. We are made to struggle, against the very world we live in if we must. The winters are harsh, the summers short. It is not an easy life, but it was home… His eyes shifted downwards for a moment. My father, he began anew, his voice colored with distaste. He was the Alpha of the pack along side my mother, she was more his partner than his lover. Both as tough and as stubborn as the north itself. He snorted, remembering. I had a brother…He was…my closest friend. He fixed his gaze somewhere beyond her shoulder and continued, on a different tangent all together. It was not hard to see that even thinking of his brother hurt him still. Luperci are so few in the north, but the ones there are, different, as well. Savage. My father hated them, and we…hated them, too, because of him. And one day, when I was still young, my brother went missing.

It was half a day before they found his… His voice began to falter. body…It was torn apart, hardly recognizeable. My father said he saw a marking in his…flesh. The symbol of the neighboring Luperci clan. He took me aside that day. ‘Remember what they took from you…Remember this day,’ he said to me. His voice was dark as he recounted his father’s words. I was not fully an adult yet, so I took his words to heart…I grew up hating them, hating my parents, the Luperci, for what they did to my brother, hating the world for what it did to me. So I spent my days further and further away from the others.

Then one day, I’d gone off alone to walk the borders, when I heard my father’s call. So, naturally I came running. The air there, it was tense. My pack mates all leapt aside at my passing, watching me. I couldn’t place the looks on their faces. My father stood before them all, called me a kin slayer, told them that I was conspiring with the Luperci to murder one of our own. I - I didn’t understand what was going on, what I’d done to, to have my father say such lies about me. His eyes were distant and he dropped his gaze to the ground. He came towards me, and raked his claws across my face, saying that I was no son of his. Then…it was all a blur. My pack mates were snarling at me, I didn’t understand…I-I still don’t. I just turned and ran as they chased me down. When I crossed the borders, I- I just kept running, and when I finally stopped, I was here. Half-starved, my face was aflame. He shook his head.

I didn’t know what to think, what to do. There was nothing I believed in anymore, everything had been taken away from me. Sometimes I wonder if it was really the Luperci who killed my brother, or if it was... He couldn’t bring himself to say it, shaking his head again. It was hard recounting his past, even harder because it had been so long since he’d even dared to think of it. I stopped hating the Luperci long ago… He assured her, aware that his mate herself, was one. He didn’t want her to think poorly of him. But I still don’t understand. Why…I mean my parents were never particularly affectionate. Their teachings were always do or die. They made me this way, and it is so very hard to change. When his eyes finally sought hers there was a vulnerability within them, he looked half a pup as he peered at her, his eyes soft and full of emotion. I hope you can understand. I don’t want to be like this…like him…it’s just…I’ve known nothing else. I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I might, or I might not. It’s hard to tell, it’s hard to control. I just have so much anger. I just wish I knew why.

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