Part of the Whole
#4
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Shadow looked up finally when Zalen said he wanted to talk and Shadow gave the smallest whine as he looked back to the ground for a second and then he relaxed a little but still looked pained. He would never stand in a way to challenge his Alpha but he knew that Zalen probably thought it odd that Shadow was so submissive that also being proof of his being broken and of his pain. Shadow's eyes slowly went to that of his Alpha and he spoke softly and without strength behind it but he did try to make light of the situation."And here I was hoping you came to train with me, I could show you some things...."Shadow stopped stalling and his ears twitched as he finally fessed up and took responsibility for what he had done."I know that I shouldn't have gone to that extreme but there is more pain than you know of. You have heard about my take on our situation with a curtain female and you have heard that I am now alone and without a mate....Zalen...."

Those Damn tears came back once again and Shadow lowered his head as he let it out once again. He growled a little as little droplets of emotion left the gates of his soul and he whimpered lightly."Amy.....Insomnia.....and my pups....I had a chance at a family, I was going to come here after they were born with Insomnia and show all of you the beauty that me and her had created....but they died...still born. I didn't even get to hear them whimper or make a sound. I got to pull out the lifeless corpses of my family. Three deaths for three failure's on my part. One for the loss of Amy's good side...One for the loss of my friend Thana...and one for the loss of Insomnia. Life is cruel and hard and at times not worth living, I'm sorry Zalen I truly thought that dying would be the best rout and I didn't see a need for me being here, at least at the time." Shadow took a deep breath and he slumped and his proud warrior stance was now gone, he was now just a man, no, an animal without reason to be, cept for the promises he made to live and try to move ahead.

"Zalen I know what I did was wrong and it would have hurt my pack and fixed nothing...but obviously I must not be serious about it since I am still here. I want to be your Epsilon again I want to belong, I just....it's going to take time for me to get past this but I promise you that I wont get in the way....you can....do what your going to do and you'll hear nothing from me...I love you Zalen more than an Alpha but like a brother and I love the rest of the pack as well, It's just hard to lose everything and to try and start over. If not for Tharin and Fayne and yourself I would probably be out there, alone and without any pack or anything, lost in that darkness of my heart and my pain." Shadow looked up to his Alpha, his brother and he sighed and took a deep breath as he tried to get control of his emotions again, to lock them away and never let them free again. It would be better to lock them away then to cry to the heavens and roar with all the pain he had been feeling, he just hopped he wasn't hugged because that would probably do him in and release all those damn feelings he tried to bury.




mall fonts; text-align:right;">BACKGROUND BY INTHENAME-STOCKS [DA], WOLF BY DAWNTHIEVES, TABLE BY YAHTZEE
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