ooc:
Letting go was like reclaiming sense. What drove her to bring him near the dark void was suddenly gone when she forced herself to let go just as she had done before. But in place of Saluce, the male once dear to her heart, was her beloved companion and friend... if she could even call him that now. Would these present actions and the actions of that day before prevent that likelihood from becoming a fact again? In truth, it would not have surprised her if it had. To be robbed of that title was less of a punishment she would deserve for her thoughtless actions, but it would have hurt her deeply none the less.
Jaden had already scrambled off of her but still she lied on the smooth floor. She stared into the white void, envisioning the mist was a representation of her thoughts inconsistent as one came to replace another. But there and apparent. A fog so heavy it was overbearing. She listened to the heavy breathing within the case, Jaden taking the breaths he was robbed of for those brief moments by her own hands. Had claiming her right as the dominant female been worth his lifeless body? Of course not... but it made sense in that moment. The mantra of the Exultare came flooding back into her mind, their creeds to force submission upon those that would contest the Family. And yet it was not the Family that was threatened... but herself. And yet, he had never been a threat to her. He hadn't done anything to invoke this terrible behavior. But why had she been so insistent on otherwise?
Raising her hands to her face with wrists still sore and bleeding, she covered her eyes with the palms of her hands hiding her face in shame. Her whines of apology could not be silenced for they were necessary for her transgressions, but the words would not come forth when they were perhaps needed most. But what could she say? Where to begin? By the ancestors...how she was she explain what caused her to be so violent when she did not fully understanding it herself? It did not help that her hormones were array inflating what were meant to be dormant emotions and thoughts. Though she had caused him damage and went to great lengths, she still thought of the likelihood of them breeding and forgetting this violence ever took place. Had she not retained a fragment of her civilized nature, she more than likely would have deemed the scrap as foreplay, bypassed the unless explanations and satisfied that deeply instilled craving. But it was not as simple as that now. Complications had come again full force by her own doing.
Slowly, the she-wolf rolled to sit up, her muzzle void of anything but the water that clung to it. Her inner map of the cavern served her well to find its entrance but she only faced it, having yet to walk through it. Within the clouds of dissipating white, Jaden was not hard to find. Pressed against the wall reclaiming his breath she turned to him with shame wrought across her muzzle. She did not know what to say. But perhaps he would...
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