Dated Aug 22nd, early evening. WC: 500
Coli's pregnancy was still largely a secret, but as her moods shifted and her body changed its shape in preparation, she began to feel less ashamed about the circumstances and more worried for the future. She wanted guidance. Her sister had promised to raise the pups if anything happened to Coli, which was a weight off her mind; now she had to consider what would happen if she lived, and they were hers to raise. Their pack was so new, their members so young, she did not have anyone experienced to turn to for advice. The only two parents she knew of were Saul and Ezra, and she had already grilled Saul for everything he knew. If Ezra was willing to share, she wanted his perspective on raising little Elias, and anything he could tell her would be helpful. She didn't want to fail them, the tiny fragile lives growing inside her. It was too much responsibility for her alone, and the thought made her tremble, struggling to swallow the lump in her throat. How did Ezra handle the loneliness? Her litter wasn't even born yet, and she felt like she was drowning.
She raised her hand and knocked lightly on the door, shuffling back several paces as she waited for it to open. She and Ezra were both quiet and melancholy souls, keeping to themselves and holding fading memories of their past. She felt a kinship with him, even if it was only through the shared pain of having loved and lost. She dreaded telling him her news, it could ruin the budding friendship between them, but she was going to be a mother now regardless if others knew or not. Enough time had passed since the initial shock that now she was a little more willing to talk about it. She drew a deep breath and slowly exhaled, trying to remain calm and not let her anxieties get the better of her. There's nothing to be afraid of, she told herself over and over as she waited, fidgeting with the bottle in her hands. |
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