12-07-2007, 07:54 AM
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Could end this now. ... Or Melisande can be stubborn!
The pain he put himself through would never change the things that were cemented in the past and he was well past the point where it even made him feel better. It would never be enough and he would never forget that. He knew that starting over did not mean he had to lose sight of any of his past mistakes and crimes, but he found it difficult to just accept them and move on. Besides, the beast in his head was still as unpredictable as ever. In the weeks following the fight with Tsunami, it seemed to have stopped taking over, but he could still feel the other laughing from the back of his head. It wasn't over -- it would probably never be over until he died, and as long as the demon remained, he could not leave everything behind him. It was all a part of him.
Smiles. He couldn't even laugh at the suggestion. It had been a years already since he had had any reason to smile and any attempts now seemed more like grimaces than anything else. But he knew for some reason that the laughter and grins were all too common in his counterpart and that was another reason he just couldn't do it anymore. They belonged to someone else and smiling was almost like transforming while he was conscious and that scared him more than anything else these days.
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Could end this now. ... Or Melisande can be stubborn!
The pain he put himself through would never change the things that were cemented in the past and he was well past the point where it even made him feel better. It would never be enough and he would never forget that. He knew that starting over did not mean he had to lose sight of any of his past mistakes and crimes, but he found it difficult to just accept them and move on. Besides, the beast in his head was still as unpredictable as ever. In the weeks following the fight with Tsunami, it seemed to have stopped taking over, but he could still feel the other laughing from the back of his head. It wasn't over -- it would probably never be over until he died, and as long as the demon remained, he could not leave everything behind him. It was all a part of him.
Smiles. He couldn't even laugh at the suggestion. It had been a years already since he had had any reason to smile and any attempts now seemed more like grimaces than anything else. But he knew for some reason that the laughter and grins were all too common in his counterpart and that was another reason he just couldn't do it anymore. They belonged to someone else and smiling was almost like transforming while he was conscious and that scared him more than anything else these days.
Don't,he said, though he wasn't even sure what he was responding to.
I'm not worth this. And I'm hurting you, aren't I?The hybrid turned away, as if he were about to leave.
Don't let me do that.Don't love me.