08-24-2008, 02:18 AM
for Laruku. is today's date okay?
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He watched their chests rise and fall in irregular patterns. Sometimes they would inhale and exhale at the same time. He liked it when that happened; it gave him hope. But then they fell back into panting, or their too-slow heavy breathing of sleep. At least, he hoped it was sleep. Endymion felt overwhelming pity for the two, wished that he could alleviate their pain faster. He couldn't tell if they were better, or if their fevers had gone down. He liked to think so. Yet, in the back of his mind there was the nagging fear that one of them would die, and it would be his fault. Everyone would blame him for it and they would be right. He had to save them.
His heartbeat and breathing accelerated. He couldn't handle this! Could he handle this? It was such a vast responsibility. He felt trapped. Surrounded. He was suffocating under the weight of his anxiety. Taking his head in his hands, Endymion began to rock back and forth in his chair between the men. Each breath felt like he was being stabbed in the chest. A groan escaped his clenched teeth, and then the tears came. They shook his body and dripped to the floor, coming from some unknown well inside him. He was pathetic and ashamed. He felt like running, but he couldn't bring himself to get up and leave them. He couldn't do anything.
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