there is a fire defragmenting the attic

[Laruku Tears]

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They were words a voice whispered into his ear every night, words that he muttered to himself under his breath and in his dreams. Words that were burned into his skull and into his decrepit, rotting heart. Words that were scars across his body. Laruku did not believe in god, and he wasn't sure if he believed in hell. But he did believe that if there was anything like punishment on the other side of consciousness, then he would deserve it. He would deserve every scarring burn and damning word. His fogged-over eyes went wide at the other's sudden touch and he gave out a strangled, uneven cry. Then why didn't you let me die!? he all but screamed, I know it was my fault! I know, I know, I know, I know! He shouldn't have died. None of them should have died!



He struggled but was too weak to twist his wrist from the other's grip. The hybrid trembled in his makeshift bed, shaking from fear and anger and those thousand years of guilt. God, I tried to die, he cried, invoking the name of a being he had never known, I tried, and I tried, and I tried. I tried to die before anyone else was hurt. It isn't my fault. Tears flooded his eyes, but there as no sight left obscure. His chest was twisted in pain, and his throat felt like it was on fire. The fever was still burning hot. I'm sorry, he continued, voice pleading, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I've always been sorry. It wasn't my fault. It was. Everything was. Why was he still alive? Even now?

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