I A M T H E V O I C E . . .
2oo6 ~ 2oo8
Corvus Vendetta, the pied wolf with black eyes and a black, empty soul, raped Graine**; such an act committed by the brute occurred only at the time of the rut, and Graine, who was simply a wolf, was unfortunate to cross his path at that time. It was late spring or early summer, and so Graine, a lone female, had been enjoying a quiet stroll in the forest dusk. The pied wolf had approached her, seducing her with his sinister, charismatic charm. She learned too late of his cold demeanor. Because Corvus’ stature and strength far surpasses that of a normal wolf, Graine had no chance in resisting his needs and desires.
Graine birthed three pups, but two were stillborn perhaps due to Corvus' treatment of her during the time. He had stayed with her, keeping a careful eye upon the life growing in her belly, for he cared only for the prolonging of his bloodline. And, so while he was cold and cruel to her, Graine's belly was carefully protected, as was ultimately her life. When Corvus was permitted to see the pups after the birthing, he was moved by a silent rage, for two were dead and the living was a female. But Corvus was patient, and he waited and remained still, allowing the she-wolf raise her pup. To keep her from escaping, the crow wolf subdued her, tearing the tendons of her legs. Because of this, Cwmfen’s memories of Graine consist of her mother lying upon her belly, unable to sit up and yet unwilling to completely lay down. When Cwmfen approached her first year, Corvus slew Graine, promising Cwmfen that he’d be back to have a taste of her when she was sexually mature.
Cwmfen, in fear and confusion, fled from the lands upon which she was raised, for while she did fear Corvus, he had left the lands and the protection of her late mother’s abode had now fallen—a yearling wolf with little experience had not chance against any intruders. Thus she wandered as a lone wolf, searching for something she did not know and attempting to avoid the pied wolf that would surely seek her. In attempting to avoid him, she avoided contact of all other creatures, afraid that if she settled down, those who she would learn to love would be taken from her.
For the first several months on her own, she remained within Caledonia, lingering near the packs that warred between each other. It was then that she saw other luperci and that she saw war. When the small and frequent battles rose up between them, she would join their ranks, experiencing for the first time the beautiful thrill of the fight. And after each battle, she would depart unnoticed, determined to keep her distance from others. And yet, a new determination had seized her: she wished to become a warrior so that one day she would no longer need to run from her father. But after two months of careful self training and warring and killing, she grew nervous, knowing that she could not remain in Caledonia for long. And so she fled to the North, crossing over the great fields of ice before turning east, traveling without aim for she knew not the shape of the world or the lands upon it.
It was not long after she had found those lands of ice, and months before she found Bleeding Souls, that Corvus Vendetta caught up to her; he was nearly two heads taller than she was—a secui—and, though she attempted to get away, she was neither fast enough nor strong enough to resist him. She did not understand why he had come, for she had not yet reached maturity. But, as he whispered in her ear while ravaging and reaping her virginity that he had come to show her that she could not run. Indeed, that prospect frightened her, for she had slowly begun to understand the invisible fetters that had bound her mother, and she knew that he would find her no matter where she went. He let her go after he had satisfied himself, sending his grating, mirthless laughter at her heels.
Her experience of ‘love’ making was traumatic, and it would be a long time before she could accept any male. What she found most disturbing was that there was a strange attraction for the pied wolf in the back of her mind. He was large and strong, he was terrible and beautiful, and he never seemed to grow old. She tried to wipe such thoughts in her mind as she fled his horrors, and she knew that she had to stop running, that she had to find those lands of which her mother had spoken, for an ancestor had found it many years prior. And so she wandered through the world of ice with silent solitude and the howling, laughing winds that sent her from the place of her deflowering. In that solitude, in that world of white and blue, she learned to calm her soul, to calm her mind. She learned control, and she learned to cast aside her pride. Battling the white wolves that seemed to disappear in the snow, the warrior-to-be refined her skills.
As she descended into warmer lands, she found once more the pleasures of the warmth of the sun and the green of summer. She no longer had to scavenge the bodies of the dead, of bears and seals, of foxes and wolves also. Whether she found Bleeding Souls was no longer a concern; she felt herself far from the searching, black eyes of her father. But was in her wanderings that she stumbled upon the lands of Bleeding Souls, and she found here many packs—packs which might protect her.
Dahlia de Mai's Haku Soul met her at the boarders...
** Graine was part of a promise made by one of her ancestors: Corvus, should he return to Europe, would be given a daughter of that lineage, who possessed in their blood something of great interest to him—an old magic. His desire to obtain it through a son is the reason for his obsession with Cwmfen.
2oo8
Once Cwmfen had been accepted by Haku Soul into the pack of Dahlia de Mai, she spent much of her time alone, careful to avoid the other wolves of the pack. She did not wish to cause trouble with the others or trouble them with the social ineptitudes she knew to exist within her. Instead, she took the time to explore the lands of her new home, familiarizing herself with a peculiar thoroughness. The innate nature of a warrior bid her to understand the lands upon which she may one day fight, for she understood that one cannot successfully fight without such knowledge. Occasionally, however, she would engage herself in the interactions between those with whom she crossed paths. Grayson, DaVinci, and Garnet Massacre, unfortunate to stumble upon the black wolf who felt the constricting effects of her hidden ability to shift, were among those with whom she interacted. It wasn’t until two months after her acceptance into the pack that she inadvertently stumbled upon Cercelee, the Rosea of Dahlia de Mai. It was from that moment that Cwmfen silently swore her loyalty to the Ice Queen.
Several days after the woad-marked female’s encounter with the Rosea, the ability to shift was unlocked, unleashing the great amount of inner tension that had built up within her. To perform a cleansing rite, the black fae bathed in the rivers of nighttime when the face of the moon would reflect upon the dark surface. It was then that she encountered Haku Soul for the second time, the intrigue of the dark male sparking an interest within her. And yet she would not allow him to touch her for the memory of her father’s touch upon her.
Upon the day of her birth, although she shared such a fact with no creature, a pack celebration was held. Tentatively, the woad female attended, silently observing the members of the pack whom she had not yet met. Afterwards, Firefly encountered the black wolf in a field, and Cwmfen had been surprised to find that their heritages had been so similar. There was a kinship that she felt with the golden female, but there was also a distance that she felt could not be crossed. Sankor Koios, a lone wolf, was another wolf that Cwmfen met upon the boarders, and she felt a strange comfort in his presence. One of the few wolves from the packs without that Cwmfen encountered was Geneva Stockholm, who, at that time, frequented Crimson Dreams. It was with Geneva that the young Cwmfen first discussed the concept of ‘love’.
Upon the night of December’s full moon, the woad marked female went on her Long Nights, a rite of passage from her mother’s culture. The Ancients told her that she must lay with a male to reconcile her fear of a male’s touch. It was Haku Soul that found her that night, and when he took her, she was able to find that a Dream existed, and that that Dream was the pied Raven. Despite the fact that Haku’s body had been necessary in the completion of her rite of passage, Cwmfen did not deny the strong attraction and intrigue that she felt for her Liliurm.
Having crafted the Raven Spear, and having tied the Kill Feather, dipped in red for those that had been killed by her jaws, of a raven to her mane, a mysterious, one-eyed pied Raven trailed her. It was not long before she was forced to accept the Raven as the epitome of her Dream. With such circumstances, the year ended for the black fae without much incident save for the meeting of Mew, Ayegali Kala, and the trespassing Nikolai Russo.
2oo9
The new year, or, at least the turning of the year as this culture saw it to be, began with the digging of her den near Oberon’s Spring and with a pack hunt, something that the new Warrior saw to be fitting. Upon the next day, the Warrior was comfortable enough in the dealings of packs to accept her first joiners: Sankor and Adelaida Koios. Already, it seemed, a moon had passed since her Long Nights, and often the woman had thought of Haku Soul. And it was one night that he came to her den, although she knew not his reason. He expressed, however, that their relationship could go no further, especially because of his new mateship. Understanding, the woman easily quieted her intrigue. To relieve her mind of such thoughts, the woman wandered into Halifax City, finding there a strange black wolf with deep blue eyes. Intrigued by the strange darkness that she perceived within him, she allowed him to take her body so that she may better understand. Upon her return to Dahlia the day after, she met Sankor once more, who showed her a strange and wonderful world in a cave behind a waterfall. It was Sankor who sought to grow closer to the woad Warrior, but she did not respond to his advances. Cwmfen’s first spar with another packwolf occurred with the AniWayan Catherine, her mind unsound for the pain of a freshly broken leg. After the spar, of which Cwmfen had won, she stumbled upon DaVinci once more, glad to hear that he had found a place within a pack. And upon her return to Dahlia, she met with the Rosea, expressing that she had felt a discontentment with the activities of both Firefly and Svara.
It was upon the second moon of the year that she first encountered the masked vigilante. Curious, the female had silently challenged him in a spar if only to test the quality of his soul. And she was greatly intrigued by both his skill in a fight and his darkness, for while he held a darkness within him, he was not evil. With an offer to aid him should he require her help, she departed. Several days after Cwmfen had taught Svara Thames the basic uses of a knife, she caught her upon the packlands with Leroy, a husky that had hours before been banished by Haku Soul from the Dahlian lands, and, in turn, she banished him. Cwmfen accepted Dutch Biler’a, Ril’o’s brother, who seemed to take a liking to the black warrior. It was only the day following that she first encountered Brennt. On first impression, the yellow-eyed wolf seemed friendly, but he had mistaken her friendliness for love, and, when she had turned to leave, he had attempted to mount her. Such a thing did not sit well with the black fae, and she responded with violence. Suffering minor injuries, the black fae continued her exploration of the unclaimed lands and stumbled upon Ezekiel de le Poer. Her wariness turned became amiable, and it was then that she first accepted the golden boy into apprenticeship. Upon her return to Dahlia, the warrior attended a pack meeting in which she was officially promoted to the rank of Adonis, subleader beneath Haku Soul.
At the end of the second moon, Cwmfen fell through the ice of a large lake on the boarder of Arachnea’s Revenge and Halifax. It was Hybrid Holocaust, having donned the secui shape, who took advantage of the hypothermic lupus, attacking and nearly killing her as her body shifted violently to take the optime shape. Bane Kiles arrived to ward off the Inferni Hydra, and he took her to his home in Halifax to stitch the wounds. She wondered what Fate brought them together once more before returning days later to her pack, her healing causing her to be of little use in her Warrior’s duties. Upon her return, Dutch Biler’a approached her, expressing his sudden love for the wounded warrior. But it was a love that she did not reciprocate. Several days had gone by before the warrior grew restless and slowly made her way back to the scene of her attack. There, it was Onus who found her, questioning on who had done so. But she did not know the name of her attacker, finding there a tuft of the attacker’s fur. From Onus she learned that some creature had murdered a great number of wolves, and aided Onus’ investigation by giving the name of Conri Church. With a lead, Onus left, as did Cwmfen back to her pack. The wounds seemed healed enough to allow her to shift down to the preferred lupus form, but she had made the change prematurely and succeeded only in reopening the wounds. Haku came at the sound of her cry and told her that he would approach Inferni. Sabeen Thames attacked her daughter, Svara Thames, partially blinding her with wounds upon her face. Cwmfen allowed the girl to stay at her den while she healed from the wounds and from the trauma. Cwmfen approached Sabeen who clamed that she knew nothing. And upon her return from that fruitless questioning, the Adonis found that Svara had invited the banished husky, Leroy, into her den, for it was Leroy that Svara had claimed as a lover. With such happenings, Kol Stormbringer came to her, wounded from an attack by Brennt. Determined to seek him out, the warrior set such a thing as her priority.
The first of the fourth moon brought darker tidings. She found Onus bleeding to death in the rain and discovered that it was her father that had attacked him. To keep him alive, she took Onus to Bane Kiles, who applied his knowledge of medicine upon the masked vigilante just as he had done with Cwmfen. And it was that night that she discovered that her intrigue with Onus went far deeper. With a kiss, she showed to him how she felt, although she was unfamiliar with that strong emotion called Love. In the morning, she had to leave him and returned to Dahlia. Upon her road home, she discovered that she had healed enough to shift down, but the effort drained much energy and rendered her useless for those long moments. Hybrid Holocaust found her once more, but he came not to kill her but with a strange curiosity, laying claim to her tail when he would earn it. She continued to her regular meetings with Ezekiel, and left him later that night. She heard a cry that belonged to him and ran to his aid only to find her father. Fear struck her for the first time, but Corvus did nothing, instead throwing to her the wounded body of the golden prince. When she was sure that the crow wolf had gone, she shifted and carried his body to Inferni. She howled for Gabriel who came, allowing her to stay despite the fact that she had trespassed, although she was made to leave immediately when the sun rose. It was a week after that she encountered Brennt, requesting that he stay away from her members and from the members of other packs. She tried to show him the advantages of the hunt, and, intrigued by the purity of his lupine ways, she allowed him this time to mount her. Yet, another week later, Brennt broke the promise she had requested by attacking Avarice de Sadira. The wounds he inflicted were great, but she had done damage as well, managing to ward him off. While it seemed to the Adonis that Svara was improving, her behavior with Haku had caused her, and Firefly in effect, to be exiled from Dahlia. With the closing of the month, Dawali Amara confronted her with the conflict of Brennt.
Healing from the wounds inflicted by Brennt, upon the fifth month Cwmfen encountered Catharsis and Catalyst de Sadira, the latter showing promise should the warrior’s path be followed. When she had healed enough to shift, the woman continued her patrol, starting with Whisper Beach. There, she found Onus as if he had been waiting for her. It had been nearly a month since she had last seen him, and she was timid. But both fighters found that they could allow themselves to fall in love, and it was Cwmfen who showed him how. Upon her return to the pack, the warrior encountered Sankor and experienced the first dispute with a packmate that ended in her departure at its request. Cwmfen awoke from a Dreaming and followed the pied Raven to the boarders, finding that Slaying the Dreamer had been attacked by Corvus. She lead him to Cercelee, and helped her to bind his wounds, all the while considering the option of going to the crow wolf, though she knew that she was not martially prepared. Several days later, Cwmfen invited Onus beyond the boarders and into her den, unaware of the past dispute the Lilium had with the vigilante. When the Lilium found them, he requested that Cwmfen ask him to leave, and she did so by sword point. Such a thing caused Onus to walk away, and Cwmfen was left, confused that her action had been to extreme. Trying to set such troubles from her mind, the warrior met Savina Marino at the Dahlian boarders and was informed that Tokyo Chance had hurt the Crimson Dreamer’s pup. Disquieted by this fact, Cwmfen, although alerted by Princess Chance’s call, sought Tokyo out. She found, however, that Corvus had attacked her at the boarders of the pack. The need to act grew dire within her mind. She set out upon the lands, searching for her father and for Brennt, but her searches were fruitless. When her path took her to Blackmoor Castle, she encountered Haven Atte and aided in his quest to become a Knight. But when she returned to Dahlia, she found that Haku returned also, wounded and in the company of Lilith. Haku claimed to have been wounded by Svara, and Svara in turn gravely attacked by Haku. With the end of the month, Cwmfen found the courage to go to Halifax in search of Onus. Discovering his apartment, she entered, finally able to explain herself. She asked him to give her that one night, and they made love with a passion and love that she had never before known.
With the sixth moon and upon her return from Halifax, she discovered Ril’o and watched as he died, killed by Corvus Vendetta. It was this event that decided for her that she would go to her father and that she could no longer wait. She lingered in Dahlia long enough to perform the rites of the dead for the fallen Dahlian with the Rosea, and she swore then that it all would end; already she had failed her pack, unable to protect them from the threat of her sire. Knowing that Brennt frequented Halifax, the warrior searched the city and found him at the cemetery. But the yellow-eyed predator knew the area more than she, and he escaped her despite her giving chase. As she moved in and out of Dahlia in her search, Cwmfen accepted many members, most of which simply disappeared. One evening, as she returned to the pack, the warrior found Svara. Many facts previously unknown to her were revealed, and while she expressed that Svara could still be considered a friend, she expressed also that her loyalties would remain with Dahlia de Mai. Promptly, when she entered the Dahlian territory, the Adonis sought out Haku Soul, asking him to share with her that which she needed to know in order to properly defend him and the pack. And when such information had been given, the warrior returned to her den to rest. The next morning, she moved to Halifax, finding then the yellow-eyed Brennt. It was then that the two fought for the last time, a vicious battle that spilt much blood. As Brennt fled once more, Cwmfen could not follow for the grave wound he had given her. Dawali Amara arrived, but she urged him to follow Brennt. Alone, the lupus moved into the city, seeking shelter from the rain so that she may find a healer once she had rested. Shifting, the woman found a hotel, but it was not empty. Corvus Vendetta was waiting for her there. Weakly and in vain, the warrior fought against him, but in the end he subdued her, branding her with the hanja mark of ‘darkness’ and raping her many times throughout the night. Because of her bloodloss, she could not even resist. It was in the morning before the dawn that Onus discovered him upon her and killed him. Carrying the dying Cwmfen to his apartment, the man cleaned her, stitching her wounds and giving her water. Later, when she regained consciousness, she tried to assure the vigilante that it was not his fault. She discovered that she was pregnant.
For the last two weeks of the sixth month, Cwmfen remained with Onus, slowly healing and relying upon him. She had fallen into a darkness, and she could not help but feel that her body betrayed the one that she loved because it carried the growing lives of her father’s black seed. With the coming of the seventh month, the warrior returned home to slowly heal. She tried to keep up her duties, but often she would return to her den, sleeping outside now that she could not fit through the tunnel. But with her healing, she met many of her members. She found Conor Soul and helped him to understand his shifted body; this experience allowed Cwmfen to believe that she would be able to raise her own young. After Svara had appeared upon the boarders, defiling the scent marks, Cwmfen went to Alexey, trusting that the Caregiver would be able to help her understand. When Onus came to fish for her, she realized the true extent of her grown appetite. She realized also the extent of love, for it was love, Onus said, that made him stay with her. But she understood also the dark possibilities of the birth of the children, and yet, she felt a strange contentment at their bearing, a contentment that Onus could not share. While Cwmfen met many members, she encountered others as well. Anselm de le Poer she met, who seemed to recognize her at first glance; afterwards, Cercelee came to see her, and the woad warrior was able to thank her for allowing Onus passage beyond the Dahlian boarders. Samael Lykoi she found as well, and he requested from her a spar once the litter was born. Charon Amrithai she found trespassing upon the boarders, and so the warrior attacked, pushing him from the lands despite her pregnancy.