01-13-2009, 01:05 AM
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How ridiculous it was that her eased sobbing comforted him. He didn't want her to feel embarrassed or vulnerable for crying. Though he could see how she might, he hoped not; he was almost certain it was doing her some good. As he held her, he pressed his lips against her forehead; a long, soft kissed that he hoped was somehow helpful. Honestly, he didn't know exactly what to do. He wasn't angry, just confused. Just desperate to make himself understand what was going on inside her. He'd never felt this before, this odd combination of ignorance, concern, guilt and helplessness.
So Kansas just listened to her. This girl, who he loved, spoke with pain in her voice, and guilt ten times the size of his. He felt terrible for the frustration he'd felt at first, because as she talked he could sense she was truly sorry. What shocked him was that Pilot was involved, and his eyes widened with horror; she didn't need to say exactly what had happened. Pilot had been his sitter as a child. "Oh..." Kansas held her more tightly. He wasn't even sure what he would have done under the same circumstances. "I-I didn't know. I'm—"
She he released her, found her gaze in his. Her eyes were shimmering with tears. He had to look away, hating to see her so torn apart about this. What she needed was his reassurance, not his questions. When he looked back, he caressed her cheek softly with his fingers. "It's okay. I... I know you would. I just got so... worried. She could have killed you." He wanted so badly for her to have meant what she said: that she trusted him. But at least she'd found someone, and she was alive. "I can't tell you how—happy I am that you're okay. Whatever you need to do to get through this... Just tell me what I can do, if anything." His face was serious. He couldn't bear losing her. Hopefully she knew she could come to him whenever she needed something from him. Even just a kiss goodnight.
How ridiculous it was that her eased sobbing comforted him. He didn't want her to feel embarrassed or vulnerable for crying. Though he could see how she might, he hoped not; he was almost certain it was doing her some good. As he held her, he pressed his lips against her forehead; a long, soft kissed that he hoped was somehow helpful. Honestly, he didn't know exactly what to do. He wasn't angry, just confused. Just desperate to make himself understand what was going on inside her. He'd never felt this before, this odd combination of ignorance, concern, guilt and helplessness.
So Kansas just listened to her. This girl, who he loved, spoke with pain in her voice, and guilt ten times the size of his. He felt terrible for the frustration he'd felt at first, because as she talked he could sense she was truly sorry. What shocked him was that Pilot was involved, and his eyes widened with horror; she didn't need to say exactly what had happened. Pilot had been his sitter as a child. "Oh..." Kansas held her more tightly. He wasn't even sure what he would have done under the same circumstances. "I-I didn't know. I'm—"
She he released her, found her gaze in his. Her eyes were shimmering with tears. He had to look away, hating to see her so torn apart about this. What she needed was his reassurance, not his questions. When he looked back, he caressed her cheek softly with his fingers. "It's okay. I... I know you would. I just got so... worried. She could have killed you." He wanted so badly for her to have meant what she said: that she trusted him. But at least she'd found someone, and she was alive. "I can't tell you how—happy I am that you're okay. Whatever you need to do to get through this... Just tell me what I can do, if anything." His face was serious. He couldn't bear losing her. Hopefully she knew she could come to him whenever she needed something from him. Even just a kiss goodnight.