As second ticked by, time so slowly that everything around them stopped. Anu couldn’t let the wall fall. Moment by moment and still her skin weakened and tore. The light and heat would flow, even if she knew it was wrong. Even if she knew that it would hurt Geneva even more then she did already. For the smallest time she would be able to give herself, completely and without guilt. Just for the smallest of moments Anu would give everything. Show her that her love was true, whatever the meaning behind it, show her that it didn’t always need to hurt.
But still…
Anu kept her heart complete, one single piece. Scarred, but still whole. It was her kindred spirit, one that made her sin ignite, one that only need to brush past her to heart flutter that held it. And still… Anu could choose, she could force herself to be what she needed to be. Her world would continue to turn round, whatever choice had been made. If he died, or lived it would go on. Until her last breath the world would turn, and then it would go round, just with out her. It was selfish to believe that there was anything more important then how things had been. Anything more important then making those she loved happy. None of was about her, it couldn’t be.
Her words pushed, almost touching her physically. Was she telling her an obvious truth or did she stake a claim in making it truth? Anu couldn’t tell. She flinched at his face, and her eyes almost fluttered away from the sight of her face. She weakened, before growing stronger. Such measures? There was nothing more important. Did Geneva hope trust in him too? It was an insane thought and still it passed through her head. Looking, Anu searched her face to find the answer. Still… Anu couldn’t find anything. Nothing but the acceptance that Geneva always offered. I thought. I just thought I had to do something.
Wave after wave of guilt, pain, and shame washed against her placid form, eroding her grainy figure and beating her incessantly. It frothed and foam like a high ocean tide, reaching out and dragging each single layer into the deep that it had originated from. Only she didn’t feel it. She knew they came and hit her but a veil shielded her from the surge and in its place she only saw Geneva.
She reached up and touched the wetness of her cheek, suddenly feeling foolish. A halfhearted laugh left her throat and an outstretched palm wiped the tears from her face. Her back felt the support of the building that stood behind her, and for a moment she wished that it wasn’t there to hold her. It was then that she broke her gaze, her promise to herself and secretly to Geneva. Her eyes went nowhere important, touching the dark sky behind her or even the floor on which they stood. What they missed was far more significant. They didn’t see the deep emotion in her eyes, the pain that she hid, and the seriousness that her words held. For once a wave fell across her skin.
What would you have done? Her words pushed back, holding the same bar of metal that lined Geneva’s. Her eyes returned, before the next wave could hit, no doubt laced with disgrace. Never should she question Geneva in such a way, but still her anger surfaced and as usual overshadowing her reason. 700+ |