There was an uncomfortable pressure against his chest, but the force was invisible, and he feared it was panic creeping up on him again. It should have been expected, but he had decided earlier that he would be good for Lexey, because doing bad things made people leave, and there had been enough people leaving him behind in the past, and his life had not even started yet. His tail shivered pathetically as he hid from the staring eyes of the other, normal puppies. He too wanted to be normal, just like them. Smiles and laughter should come naturally, but such things seemed unnatural, almost foreign. He did not want to be here, the room was too small and there were too many wolves in it. It felt so overcrowded, and they were all faces that he did not know, did not want to know!
The world was dark as he had closed his eyes, learning lightly against the scent and fur of the person that mattered most to him. Something warm and wet touched his forehead, and his eyes opened to stare up at the little girl that had not seemed to want to play with him. Was that what she wanted to do now? Conor did not want to play; he did not want to interact with these children. Yet, her act made his eyes slightly glossy. They did not know eachother, but she did not hate him. Nor did the other puppies, but they would hate them because he did not want to play with them. He had nothing to offer, and this was why nobody wanted him. Mommy did not want him, Daddy did not want him, Emwe seemed to find him boring. It was sad, a lot of things were sad.
He treated the girl’s move as one of accept, but his emotional state had already been pushed to its limit by the introduction of so many new faces and the lack of mental preparation. The Soul child felt his face seek the floor, felt the need to hide from the world. Instead he pressed his now wet face into Alexey’s tail, hoping that she could save him from himself. He needed her attention and love, in larger doses than what was normal. He felt shame burn in his face, because he was aware of that he was making a fool out of himself in front of the other puppies and the big, black lady. Maybe Lexey too would be embarrassed and send him away because he was bad.
The adult's voice asked if the girl puppy was pretty, and she was. He thought so, but he did not want to make her believe he liked her and wanted to play with her. He did not, he wanted to go home. "No." was the boy's simple answer, voice slightly muffled as he did not stop pressing his face against the caretaker's light tail. It was so sad, because the girl was pretty, but 'no' was a magic word that could make people leave. He needed it.