the protagonist dies in this chapter

[Laruku Tears]

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I know, he admitted, a hushed whisper in the fog now. I... I was never meant to be a father. I can't even take care of myself, much less the pack, much less you or your brothers. The tattered hybrid sat down as well: facing her, the scars that marred his chest and stomach were more obvious, as if to testify to the fact that he was poor at maintaining his own health. He took a slow and deep breath and continued to stare at the dirty snow in front of his daughter, feeling too much of a failure and a coward to meet her eyes -- brilliant blue, where had that color come from, he wondered?



Ryoujoku, Laruku said after a while, You've met him, I know. The better father, right? The laughter was qued on in his head, and he ignored it best he could. He's your real father, I guess. He was the one your mother cared for, not me. Even now, he felt like he hardly knew the woman that had given him his children. I don't know what he's ever said to you, but if they were kind things, he's only playing with you. Maybe Gabriel told you he's done awful things and is dangerous -- he's right. He closed his eyes then though he wasn't sure why he was allowing himself to picture the scenes in his head again. He's hurt people that didn't deserve to be hurt, killed people, children. No reason at all. He plays games. He does whatever he likes and has no morals or remorse. He doesn't care at all about anyone or anything. And that includes you.



He took another deep breath, willing himself to continue while still ignoring the cackling and screaming echoing in the back of his skull. I... You and your brothers remind me of him, of all the things he's done, of all the things I've done. It's not your fault. It's mine. I... But I know you're more than that. You're your own person and I'm glad... No, he wished they didn't exist. He wished none of them existed. He wished he didn't exist. He didn't love them. Maybe he'd never be able to. He was an awful person and that wasn't going to stop, was it? I'm glad you're not turning out like him. Like me. Laruku opened his eyes but looked up instead of at Rachias. The gash across his throat pulsed when he swallow. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't don't love you.

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