09-13-2009, 11:55 AM
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| http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c73/p ... otable.jpg); background-color:#90577A; background-position:top center; background-repeat:no-repeat; padding-top:239px; padding-left:15px; padding-right:15px; padding-bottom:10px;"> <333 This was one of the most difficult situations that she'd ever been in. There was only a few other situations that she could think of that had put this same amount of strain on her. When she had gotten drunk and slept with Kansas and Lucifer, she had thought that Savina would never forgive her. Kansas was her adopted brother, but there had been some sort of a spark between them for a long time. Back then, Savina had not been with him...and Naniko hadn't known that she was interested in him, either. Things had been at odds with Conri, and Kansas and Lucifer had offered a good time with no regrets. The second time was a little farther back, when she had been living in Clouded Tears. Conri's father had been causing problems for her adopted father Physe's pack, Aremys, and Conri had wanted to continue to see him anyway. Physe had locked Conri up in a room "for his own good", to keep him away from his horrible father, and Conri had escaped to Clouded Tears. Naniko hadn't known whether she should be angry at Physe for doing this, or just be happy that Conri was okay and that he had come to her. Back then, they had been really good friends. She wanted what was best for both of them. She always wanted what was best for everyone. She had been the leader, putting others before herself and her own well-being before. This experience was eye-opening to her; she had rarely made a decision that was purely for herself, and this was one of those. She was being selfish, not going back to Crimson Dreams where her two daughters and Ehno lived. She didn't want to face Savina and Anu and have to repent, or make any kind of an apology to them...and she felt that her pups wouldn't be liked there. She had managed to fix herself, to rid herself of those drugs...and yes, she was sorry that Cambria had gotten into them, but her pride would not allow her to tell the pup's mother that. She felt like Savina had forgotten that Cambria was her niece, that she was a part of the family. She was Iskata's daughter, Kansas' sister. She'd just been cast out and her two friends hadn't been there for her in her greatest time of need. Ehno had, though. She wouldn't forget that. He was a wonderful wolf, the type that would make a good father, a good mate. She wanted to be with him, and try and make something work out. But she couldn't. "Go back there and start at the bottom? I'm untrusted and wolves there don't like me. I don't want to put them in danger, when I could just as easily go somewhere else where wolves do trust me and like me. Where my pups would be supported by a pack and where none of them would be disliked because of something that I did." He wouldn't let her be alone out there? She had been making her own decisions for a long time (granted, the ones she had made lately hadn't been too good). "I can't live there. It would be so painful...to stay in a pack that I was kicked out of? To be led by Savina and Anu, who I chose to stand beside me when I was Commander?" Couldn't he see? |