free to waste away alone

[Urma]

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OOC: ::Word Count:: 600+       The soft breeze gently caressed her ivory pelt, like the touch of a distant lover, a faint recognition of her loneliness, seemingly attempting to soothe her anguish. She relished the apparent intimate implications of the feeling of the slow wind through her fur, delicate and impressive at the same time. It was as if, in the absence of a relationship, she had made one with the motions of the air-- a simple, generous offer for a bit of comfort. Doubled by the steady rhythm of the water as it gathered momentum for its inevitable plunge, the touch of the autumn breeze felt insatiably enjoyable to the white she-wolf. The farrago of actions relaxed the white Crimson Dreamer; it spoke of amenity and the fair femme couldn't suppress a feeling of deep gratitude. She had long since misplaced this feeling of contentment which flowed through her now, so unlike the sadness that glazed her golden eyes every once in a while, reminding of a deep-rooted sadness, no longer different to an indisputable certainty.       Once the obsidian male began talking, her ears pricked in attention to what he was saying. Just as sympathy made itself felt within her, the names the wolf spoke of sent a chill down her spine. Dierdre and Pilot-- for all the wolves that had once known them as a couple, they had stayed as such overtime. Her mate. The pale femme thought just how unfair that sounded, after so much time; that she-wolf would forever be tied to Pilot, which only she thought of, against all odds, as hers. However, she didn't want to think of these things. Her disappointments had been many, and they would continue to silently flourish so long as he was gone, a solid absence in her life. Her thoughts would endlessly search for him, her words in the night would beckon him with the stories upon the wind, and one day, maybe, she would meet him once more and somehow, through the gap time would have certainly caused by then, they would fall in love again. The pearl female forced her musings to return to the ebony Crimson Dreamer before her.       "Our disappointments may vary, but fundamentally and unwillingly, their roots remain the same. It is Pilot whom I have lost." There was a sense of closure, almost, in her simple words, of hopes too old to matter. But the expectations were still high, her beliefs fresh. She could see the reason behind his statement, and felt in agreement with it. It was just that... she had never been sure whether Pilot had forgotten her or not. When a mate or a lover leaves and is lost to you of his or her own accord, you are, in a way, allowed to move on. But she could not know whether Pilot wouldn't want to come back, once he felt he could see her and explain everything to her, calmly, reasonably. A small sigh escaped the alabaster femme. "I never knew he had an adopted son. We never talked much about his old life. It was what he was trying to leave behind, at least the image of Dierdre was what he wanted to forget. I'm sorry if he ever caused you sadness or disillusionment. I know it's not my place, but he was a good wolf. I'm sure he's very proud of you, even if he knows that maybe he didn't contribute to your upbringing as much as he could have." She didn't know why she wanted to defend the one wolf that had disappointed her. But somehow she felt obliged to. He had helped her. You never forget someone who does, not really.

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