09-27-2009, 05:36 PM
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It's good with me!  500+She didn't have the energy to hide what was bothering her, she expended it all keeping the happy facade up for her pups. She couldn't do it when not in their presence, she didn't have the strength. The Commander felt so weak and lost and hollow. How could she lead the pack like this? Would things get better or worse for her? The thought of Ehno leaving made her want to cry out in pain. It would be like having her heart ripped from her chest. Would he do that to her? The woman didn't know. She hadn't thought that he would do what he already had done either, yet he had. He had betrayed her, he had betrayed Cambria. In her mind, he had chosen the D'Angelo over his family. He had turned his back on them in that act and now they were all paying the price. She just hoped he would stay. She would make every concession to make sure that he was able to be with his pups and raise them, just as long as he didn't leave her again. If he left, she didn't know if she could ever forgive him. It would be too much. Inside her body and soul shook with the effort to keep herself together. To keep from falling utterly apart. She was crumbling at the edges, frayed and ragged like a piece of torn silk. She kept the sobs down in her chest, but only barely. Her body shivered from the cold and from the weight of the situation that ensnared them. She didn't know how to reconcile it all. She wanted Ehno to be there for his children, she could never wish otherwise. But she couldn't bare the thought of him leaving Crimson Dreams and the rest of his family for that. Leaving her. Maybe she was being selfish, she wondered that often, but she could not make herself feel any other way. Already his actions had hurt her so much, another blow and she would come undone completely. Their bond, that had seemed solid as steel, would be gone. What was she without him? She was not herself. Ghita's comforts and nuzzles made her whine softly and she tried to hold the tears back but could not. "Non posso perdere lo Ghita, posso non. Non di nuovo. Non so ciò che fare-" Her words were cut off by a sob that had escaped and she choked on it. It had taken her a while to notice it through the fog of her debilitating depression, but something was different about Ghita. There was something more to her. Something that shouldn't be there. It wasn't something wrong though, not really. Sniffling she moved her head slightly to look over towards her sister. Shimmering eyes looked her over as best she could and a question came to her lips. It was soft and so quiet, but it's weight was enormous. "Ghita? La sono..." pregnant? Was she? Was it possible? Or was her mind so muddled it was seeing ghosts? |