10-01-2009, 07:11 PM
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Feeling his hand on her abdomen and his arm pulling her closer to him, Ruri was momentarily absorbed in the gentle warmth that seemed to come over them both. Was this was it was like to be in love? Ruri had told herself many times that she thought she loved Heath...but then again she had told herself she loved Jac. That wasn't the same thing. She knew that. However, the upbringing she had received from Jac had left her to develop her own views of love. Why it was so confusing to her she didn't know. She had given Haven an entire lecture on her idea of true love and yet when it came to her feelings for Heath...she was still slightly unsure. Why was she though? She had no need to fear that Heath would hurt her as Siobhan had hurt Haven. The very idea of Heath hurting her disgusted her with the sheer stupidity of the thought. Within the short span of time that all these thoughts were racing through the fragile border collie's head, her mind was finally focusing in on the line that separated her two ideas of love...fine though it was. She loved Jac...he was one of her closest friends and the very closest thing she had to family. She would do anything for him...even give her life to make sure he was safe. However, she quickly realized that her relationship with Heath had grown to the point where she would do these same things for him as well. Now she was back to square one. Perhaps she should just tell Heath...he had always understood her problems before. Surely he would be able to sort out her thoughts, especially since much of them concerned him. Taking a deep breath, the delicate collie girl leaned her head back until she felt like she was looking up at Heath, by turning in the direction of his voice. "Heath...I have something to tell you...but I'm not entirely sure about it. Well....I am...but there's another thing that I'm confused about," she stuttered, finding her dilemma difficult to put into words. "I...I love you...I really do...and I'm sure you've probably figured that out by now. My problem is...I love Jac to...b-but it's not the same! Jac is...my best friend. He raised me...he's my family. I don't want you to think that you have to compete with him, and I don't want him to think that he has to compete with you," she explained, her ears pinned back against her head. "I wanted to tell you this...Heath...because you're always so understanding. I don't know if Jac would understand...or if he'd just do something he thinks will remedy what he perceives to be a problem." She hated to make it sound like Jac didn't understand her. He did...but only about certain things. In truth Ruri scolded herself for even bringing this whole issue up while she was riding Stark with Heath. This was supposed to be entirely fun...but she had just turned it into something serious. |