12-17-2009, 04:47 AM
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He did not understand her behaviour. She of all people should understand that he was actually trying to make things easier for her by creating some distance. He was just too aware of how well he had ruined everything they had once had. He would not be able to bear witness to the ruins of the comfortable life they once had lived. He had destroyed it and was taking responsibility for this. He understood that she was upset – they both were, but her behaviour right now troubled him. How could she fail to understand his words? Of course things would be better this way. He had lived with her for far too long anyway, and it was surely just a matter of time before she would have started to hint about moving out of the nest, right? Lavender orbs slowly rose to investigate her face. Was she trying to fool around with him? It was not in her nature to be cruel like that.
Her words harmed his soul and opened up wounds that desperately needed to heal. He wished he could have the strength to turn away and leave her. His ears fell back against his skull, hinting about the misery that was dancing through him with renewed strength. He did not answer her question. Of course he did not mean it. At the same time there was no reason to drift further into dreamland and imagine that anything actually could be fixed. She couldn’t and wouldn’t give him what his heart so desperately cried out for, and daily interaction with the female would never extinguish the fire that already burned so terrifyingly bright. He suppressed a wretched whine when she suddenly begged. Did she understand how much she damaged his mind with such words? It was obvious that she was attempting to rip his heart completely open.
There was nothing he wanted more than to come home. Home was where Alexey Koios was, but he could not return. It was too late and why couldn’t she make the pain easier to bear by accepting that? ”I think we both know that it would be best if I did not return, Alexey.” he said silently, fighting back the pain that wanted to rip into his voice and reveal his absolute misery by saying such a sentence. Though, at the same time he ached for her to keep fighting. Hope was a foolish thing, but he wanted her to need him. These feelings he did not understand. If he let it, his broken heart would crush him with ease, but at the same time he could not fully let go of her despite the knowledge that there would never be a second kiss. He did not want to continue flying on empty wings. He needed her as badly as he had as a child. He was not certain if he could survive without her. His eyes stung slightly, but big boys didn't cry. "I'm sorry for ruining everything.. I didn't mean to." he confessed, face turning away from her as his face filled up with pain.
He did not understand her behaviour. She of all people should understand that he was actually trying to make things easier for her by creating some distance. He was just too aware of how well he had ruined everything they had once had. He would not be able to bear witness to the ruins of the comfortable life they once had lived. He had destroyed it and was taking responsibility for this. He understood that she was upset – they both were, but her behaviour right now troubled him. How could she fail to understand his words? Of course things would be better this way. He had lived with her for far too long anyway, and it was surely just a matter of time before she would have started to hint about moving out of the nest, right? Lavender orbs slowly rose to investigate her face. Was she trying to fool around with him? It was not in her nature to be cruel like that.
Her words harmed his soul and opened up wounds that desperately needed to heal. He wished he could have the strength to turn away and leave her. His ears fell back against his skull, hinting about the misery that was dancing through him with renewed strength. He did not answer her question. Of course he did not mean it. At the same time there was no reason to drift further into dreamland and imagine that anything actually could be fixed. She couldn’t and wouldn’t give him what his heart so desperately cried out for, and daily interaction with the female would never extinguish the fire that already burned so terrifyingly bright. He suppressed a wretched whine when she suddenly begged. Did she understand how much she damaged his mind with such words? It was obvious that she was attempting to rip his heart completely open.
There was nothing he wanted more than to come home. Home was where Alexey Koios was, but he could not return. It was too late and why couldn’t she make the pain easier to bear by accepting that? ”I think we both know that it would be best if I did not return, Alexey.” he said silently, fighting back the pain that wanted to rip into his voice and reveal his absolute misery by saying such a sentence. Though, at the same time he ached for her to keep fighting. Hope was a foolish thing, but he wanted her to need him. These feelings he did not understand. If he let it, his broken heart would crush him with ease, but at the same time he could not fully let go of her despite the knowledge that there would never be a second kiss. He did not want to continue flying on empty wings. He needed her as badly as he had as a child. He was not certain if he could survive without her. His eyes stung slightly, but big boys didn't cry. "I'm sorry for ruining everything.. I didn't mean to." he confessed, face turning away from her as his face filled up with pain.