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WC:632
so much ramble~ <3
lost into the weight of gravity
She dreamt of Leland. She had been preoccupied enough to have pushed the haunting memory from her conscious thoughts, but now that she had found stability and safety, his hollow eyes were transfixing her dream self. Buried deep, some part of her mind wondered why she was not having nightmares about Haku, after he had drawn her blood and mutilated her body once again. But she had exhausted her reserve of emotion for him, and was left with numbness in its place. That man was sick in the head. She prayed for her brothers and her aunt, and the little cousins so new to the world, and her old friend Cercelee, but she could not help them, and she could not influence her horrible father any more than she could influence the moon or the tides.
No, this night, cold and alone beneath the covers, her slumbering form was haunted by a ghost, a sad shell of a man who had come to die on her doorstep. She had put him out of his misery, for he was dying of a broken heart that could not be mended. And it haunted her because she knew that look, knew that she would end up the same way if Anu discarded her.
Colibri was nothing without this woman, and had turned her back on her family just to share the same room as her. Anu had been careful to tend to her lacerations, to bandage her wounds and help her with the healing process. But her melodic voice had fallen silent, and her duties carried her out of the room more and more frequently. How could it be? Their bodies were closer than ever, but there was a distance greater than there had been before.
A slight shift in the mattress woke her instantly, pale morning light flooding her contracted pupils. Frost had clawed its way up the windowpane during the night, tracing icy diamonds that glittered a myriad of colors in the sunrise. Coli blinked bleary-eyed for a moment, her thoughts fuzzy as her conscience slowly resurfaced. She was in the Haven Manor, in Anu's bed... Anu was beside her. The werewolf made a small noise in her throat, nudging the older woman's shoulder with her muzzle just to ensure that she was really there and not some residual dream fragment.
A warmth flushed her cheeks as she realized the former was true, and she drowsily snuggled closer to her beloved, ushering her under the covers. She was still half-asleep, and had required much bedrest over the past weeks to calm her anxiety and let her injuries knit themselves closed. The only one that still required a bandage was her severed tail, and she was trying not to think about that. She had gone out walking several times to explore her new home and test her balance, and her newfound clumsiness made her ashamed.
Realizing that it might have something to do with Anu's avoidance made her flinch, slowly drawing back from the warm embrace. She must be an embarrassment to someone of Anu's rank and stature, a burden and nothing more. That would explain it. "S... sorry... for all of this," she mumbled in response, swallowing the knot in her throat. She knew she wasn't mate material, especially now that she was damaged on the outside. She had just hoped that when they started spending so much time together, it would be a happy reprieve from the daily stress of their lives. She hadn't expected the deafening silence, and had no way of breaking it. Haku had managed to ruin this, too, her only shot at happiness. She was going to end up like Leland, begging for someone to end her loveless life because she hadn't the strength to do it herself.
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