WC: 367 // have an angst-Coli? she'll cheer up if someone talks to her. 
Colibri rested her chin atop her knees, despondently scratching circles into the dirt beside her. The walls were back. She couldn't even tell anymore how it started; who created the distance first? Was it the lingering traces of fearfulness in her cowardly soul that drove her to withdraw every time she got close to another? Had Anu not fully trusted her from the start, or had Coli betrayed her love by not being open enough? It wasn't her fault, she pleaded feebly with herself. She had lived alone too long. She didn't know how to talk about anything personal. But she knew her lonely tendencies were as much habit as they were circumstance -- even when she was with a pack, she kept to herself. She was never going to learn. It was just how she was.
The apple tree above her provided a dappled shadow, merrily absorbing the midday sun rays. She had skulked her way into the orchard again, a place she liked to hide when she was feeling sorry for herself. Anu... her heart ached for Anu, whose polite facade hurt her more than any argument could have. Everything was so fragile with them. They were both afraid to love, and it was falling apart. A soft whine caught in Colibri's throat, and she wrapped her arms around her legs, hugging them close to her chest. She didn't know how to fix it. The more anxious she got, the more she avoided it. She hadn't slept in their room for several moons -- it was warm out now, easy to curl up beneath the stars and wake up amidst the dew. She longed for contact, though. At least her mane obscured the ugly bruise she had taken from her spill in the manor...
Her expressive gaze was uncharacteristically blank, gazing at nothing as nature flitted around her. The occasional songbird hopped from tree to tree in the orchard, snapping up the droning insects laden with pollen. Normally spring was a season of hopefulness for the introverted fae, but she had fallen within herself again. She should never have expected her first love to work out. Did anyone get that lucky on the first try?
