03-04-2008, 12:07 AM
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Set for tomorrow morning. wallsWas there any place he where he really belonged, where he was supposed to belong? Or was it just based on where his priorities fell at this point? Why was it so difficult to make a concrete decision and lay whatever it was he wanted out there on the table? It would be so much easier if he had the answers. It was only one of many questions, but there were too many answers that could correspond with it alone. There were too many, and he couldn't tell which one was the right one. There were too many answers to everything. wallsThere had to be a right one. wallsThe boy didn't even feel like he had tried. He had gone so far and made so much progress only to come to the realization that maybe the only family he had anymore were back there, in the direction that he'd come. Maybe he was a coward. Too afraid of being no one. Too afraid of being truly alone. Suddenly everything had become different, and he didn't know how that had happened, why it had happened, or how to make it stop. The fact that he didn't even know what it was that had changed only meant that he would never be able to change it back, and he would be stuck in this seemingly alternate universe forever. He hadn't been so worried about consequence a month ago when he had left, and now it was all upside down. He wasn't happy because his confusion plagued him constantly, and there was nothing he could do to ease it. No ray of sunshine on a cloudy day could make everything all right. Who even knew what was wrong? wallsJesile couldn't ignore the sinking feeling that leaving had been wrong. When he had left his home for the first time to look for his father, it had been different. When he had left Inferni, it was to look for his father once again, but the underlying details should have been apparent. He should have known better. That had been twice that he had left a place that either could have or had been considered his home, and each time there had been no great victory at the end. The bait had been stripped from his fishhook though, and now he did know better. It didn't matter how many times he cast his line out there anymore, because there would be no fish to offer a bite. There was no hope that an excursion would somehow solve everything. And Faolin. What would she think of him for leaving without a word of explanation? Maybe she wouldn't care at all, which happened to be his greatest fear of all. wallsThe morning light crawled toward him across the horizon, bathing him in golden warmth in the day's frigid air. It didn't seem appropriate for him to wait at the borders of Inferni expectantly, begging for a second chance and a place in their ranks once again. In any case, he knew he would have felt incredibly guilty. Instead, he could take care of himself as he had learned to do months previously, but the important thing he felt, was that he had returned. The sand under his toes was a pleasant familiarity, and the breeze blowing shore bound whispered what felt like a quiet welcome home. |