Sorry for the novel James XDI don’t know what happened here. Promise not to ramble on again. 1277 wc
The residence was overflowing now and Nayru imagined she could feel the energy throbbing and pulsing in the house. It made the boards creak in the night when no one walked and it pressed at the walls and the windows, wanting to burst forth and release its’ self upon Dahlia. Or so it felt this way to Nayru, at least when a good number of them were at home. Just recently there had been the addition of two adults and one more child into Conor’s orphanage and the energy she felt now was almost overwhelming. Not that it was unpleasant, truly they were all pure souls and their energy positive if not at times unsettled, but Nayru felt that she was unlike them. They emitted and she received, and what if her soul was to soak up too much from them? Would she burst, tear and rip at her own seams? It wasn’t that she didn’t want to connect and be a part of them, one of the energy-conductors, she just didn’t know how. Connections before had been preset: mother, father and sisters. There had never been any complications, one never had to work to understand another; life had been simple with simple souls.
Now the dream child had to watch and listen and still she didn’t understand. Vark was kind and the sight of him a comfort to her at times and Vesle, Dexter and Keeleigh were familiar enough now. They had been there when she arrived and Nayru had accepted them as part of her home. She hadn’t bonded with the older children, they were friendly but already intertwined with each other and Nayru hadn’t the courage or drive to wedge herself into their lives. Conor too was kind and good to her, but he hadn’t free time enough to give more to her than he did to the other residents of his home. Nayru had become use to being a phantom among them, existing in herself while residing with them and more and more she became aware of the hidden selves they had. Vark shivered at the sound of spiders, creatures he couldn’t even see. Sometimes as she passed the sleeping older children she heard them whimper for reasons she never whimpered herself. And Conor, sometimes she woke up and heard him wander pass her room, although she did not ever question him why in the morning. Nayru swallowed these details as she consumed the realities of her new life, drinking in their energies and tasting their personalities. She at first mulled over these particularities, but she never made the connections, never asked why they did what they did, never understood.
Now there were more souls for her to try to comprehend. A daunting task when she didn’t even know how she fit into their home. Bris she knew already, the wounded lady, and so her presence was easier to accept. Weilund had come out of nowhere, and like the ghost child she was she had shown herself to him in the house, but disappeared into thin air before they had ever spoken. He hadn’t been in Dahlia before her and though Nayru knew that Conor would bring no danger into their home she was shy about the new male. She had been elusive too when Bris’ coming had brought the young child. Nayru smiled at them from a distance, but she hadn’t approached either. Sometimes wondering about the young boy kept her up at night and she knew that they called him Gideon but that was all. Ever since they had arrived the piebald pup had been more secluded. Nayru got into the habit of sliding into the house at the times when fewest were awake and wandering, and sliding out at the same times. The cherry eyed creature moved like a wraith among them, her footsteps barely making any sounds as she glided through their dwelling.
It was in this fashion she had left the house early in the morning, stealing through the lands until she hit the harbor and from here she watched the sun rise in solitude. It was her new ritual, and daily she was becoming more superstitious about it. If she wasn’t there to greet the sun, maybe it wouldn’t come up at all. Logically she knew that this was untrue, but the tiny part of her that believed in magic and fairy tales grew stronger every time she turned her eyes to the eastern sky and prayed that they wouldn’t be stuck in perpetual nighttime. And her spirit soared every time the rich, warm colors began to bleed into the darkness and dawn came again. It was only after she had seen the sun safely into the sky that she could begin her day of solitary exploration and adventure.
Nayru intended to have such a day, skirting the Victorian home and all its’ inhabitants and only returning home for her dinner and sleep. Yet as she turned to head towards Whisper Beach something struck her. Or rather a feeling of emptiness invaded her. It crept up from nowhere, out of thin air, and at first Nayru didn’t recognize it. Loneliness? She had never felt it before. Although she had loved her mother and father, she never felt that she wasn’t suppose to be away from them, her life had deviated for some reason. And though she missed her sisters at first, she hadn’t yearned for them. But of a sudden Conor’s and Vark’s face came to her, she wanted to see them, or to smell the other orphaned kids. Nayru didn’t even think of talking to them, or touching them, she just needed to be near them again. She needed to absorb them, soak them up. The emptiness scared her, and though she tried to fight it, to reason it as meaningless, she gravitated back towards home. It was truly home now.
Before she could reach the door and slip in silently she saw him: the newest and youngest, his turquoise eyes blinking in the morning sun. For a moment she simply stared from that distance, instant relief washing over her. They were still there, existing without her, proof before her in the form of that small bundle of flesh and fur. Once the empty feeling subsided she turned away, no intention of actually talking to the boy. Yet at the first step it struck her again. Loneliness, guilt even. It struck her almost harder than it had the first time and she froze; her half grown body stuck still by the helplessness and sadness she felt. Why? Nayru couldn’t understand it, but she had to make it go away. Fueled by the need to make the feeling go away she turned back and with fairy like steps moved over to the boy, who seemed even smaller close up than he had at a distance.
Her fiery eyes met his ocean ones and she smiled, did he recognize her by sight? Scent? Had Conor or Bris even mentioned her at all? The idea that she had slipped so far into the ghost world that she had ceased existing for them terrified her and she took a few shaky breaths to calm herself. Finally she found her voice, soft and doe-like; and the question, though the context could have been construed as rude, was spoken as only a sincere and kind inquiry, not the tiniest drop of accusation. Why did you come here? There, he had to speak, had to answer her. And she could consume him in a way she hadn’t yet consumed the others, swallow his being and fill her void, alleviate the emptiness. Connect even.
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