The two boys in her lap had settled, both drifting off to sleep. Their bodies became still and heavy as they leaned against her hands and curled long the curve of her leg and arm. They were an example of the things that living could bring. They were surprise and joy and fear and worry all in small bundles of breath and fur. Mati had never expected them to be born, not from Anu. She had thought that Haven would be the only brother that she would know and have in her life. Yet here they were to disprove that idea. It made her think that anything was possible, made her believe that all the wants that she had felt could actually become real. The belief that the need to strive beyond the troubles of her birth mother and their father’s history was an effort that would bring them true happiness was not a foolish one. Anything seemed possible.
Her relationship with Cambria seemed like a dream at times, like a hope-filled wish that her vivid imagination concocted. Mati did not always feel that she deserved it, deserved someone as wonderful as the Marino woman. She knew that Haven was worthy Princess, and truly deserved such happiness after the hardships that he had faced. He had fallen so far in the past, and Mati had never thought that it was his doing that made him leave and seek the refuge of a bottle. It had been their father, their mother that had allow him to become so lost. Because he had been able to claw his way out of that hole Haven deserved his mate. At times Mati felt that she hadn’t yet earned her happiness.
She listened closely, understanding completely how fear seemed so alive and close to her heart when she thought about changing what she and Cambi had, even if it was a good change. It was like all the happiness that she wished to feel had to battle through the anxiety. She looked to his green eyes, experienced words falling into her chest and touching her heart. There was so much that she wanted, not just for herself but for the woman she loved and for her pack and family. Just need to take the leap. She said idly, giving him a small smile. She knew she couldn’t fly, and she was so bad at just giving into gravity. Mati knew what it was like to feel like she had lost Cambria, the dread and the tearing pain that had come to her with she had pulled herself from the falling barn. It was the worst feeling she had ever experienced, and the possibility of feeling it again made her head hurt.
Lets let these guys sleep, or they’ll be cranky for Momma later. She spoke, the Nanny in her coming forth again. Her large hands picked up Oak, cradling his head and placed him in the nest of blankets and furs that their mother had made for them. Cypress came next and Mati reached for Alder. They would likely wish to eat soon, Mati could smell the silver and tan woman near by, likely sitting beyond the door and allowing the sibling as much time as they needed.
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