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Her first instinct to every move the other woman made was to flinch. Her primary reaction to each word spoken was to hesitate, move away, and flee. She had not been like this before – before Noir’s death, she had been friendly and amicable. Tayui had liked to think of herself as particularly laid-back, worrying only when necessary, which was usually over her children. Now, the offer of words, which she so desperately desired, left her feeling awkward and uncomfortable. This was the same feeling that had hounded her all throughout her journey from Quebec to the lands of Bleeding Souls. And now, the spectre had returned, taunting her and reminding her of all that she once had. Tayui felt horribly lost – all of these feelings were confusing and disturbing. While she had wandered through the forest, she had longed for contact; some sort of connection that would verify her existence and make her feel real again. Now that she had it, the first thing she considered was how quickly she could flee.
She hated these feelings. She hated how the other woman’s soft words only made her heart ache more for the sing-song melodies her daughter would always hum. While Tayui did not understand the other woman’s words, she knew the intention. She appreciated the effort, but loathed the effect.
Tayui tried to avoid the other woman’s gaze, turning her head to one side. She could see that the doggish luperci was trying to get a better look at her, but Tayui did not want to be seen. She disliked the thought of anyone associating her pain with who she was. She wanted to keep this a secret until one day she could keep it no more and it would burst forth with the fury of torrential rains.
While Tayui understood what the other woman, Alaine, was trying to do, she still thought it would be useless. But she did not know how to say no, so instead, she offered a less concrete answer.
“Perhaps,” came her reply, softer than the last. “I don’t know what to do,” she added honestly. She did not know how to convey any of what she was feeling to Alaine or whether she even should.