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Tayui nodded in response when Alaine spoke, now feeling like she could help the other woman. Even though her own emotions were so close to the surface and so easily reachable, Tayui felt for a moment that she could set them aside and listen now. Well, she could try – simply reminding herself of what she was putting on hold was enough to make her heart clench: a cold, icy grip that caused her to visibly shiver. Everything was so close and real, but she had to recognize that the real world – one which involved a very kind stranger – was also just as real and just as relevant.
And even as she said it, Tayui also realized that there were many she loved in these lands. Some, she had stronger emotions for, like her family. But there were others, like Dawali and Ember, whom she felt a connection to. Perhaps she would be able to rekindle these connections soon. She had not seen either of the fellow AniWayans in some time, and she had locked herself away, both physically and emotionally, since Noir’s death.
Tayui felt her heart skip again as she thought the words. It hurt, but as she looked back to Alaine, she could see that she had some support. If a stranger could ease her worries, why couldn’t her friends, too? Why was she so hesitant to speak to them?
She knew the answer to that: it was because of who she was becoming and the consequences of her grief. Anger and revenge were common themes for her now, and she did not want either of them to know what she was becoming.
She hoped Alaine would never have to know this, either. Tayui nodded as Alaine continued and committed her son’s name to memory: Caillen. Tayui tried to return the woman’s smile, hesitating for a moment before committing. She needed to smile more often.
Tayui flinched when Alaine grasped her elbow, but paused and took a deep breath: it was alright. When Alaine’s hand felll away, she revived the smile, hoping to let Alaine know it was alright.
“I will, if I see him. What is the golden dragon?” Curiosity, of course, but of the words Alaine had spoken, this seemed the most intriguing.