WC: 1,645. (Wow, longest post yet! xD)
A smile on the other female put Lucia’s thoughts at ease. It had been a while since she had inspired amusement in others. She was considered relatively socially inept, and in a way, Lucia could see why others thought that. She often drifted in and out of reality, lost in thoughts and memories – recalling better, or perhaps even worse, days than she lived in now. Smiling back at the Aniwayan female, Lucia’s toxic green eyes revealed a small ounce of emotion. She had begun to let her walls down, feeling more and more unthreatened in the presence of a different pack’s member. This female seemed kind enough, and so, Lucia felt it was best to return such things – and so, for once, Lucia had begun to become what others considered, socially acceptable.
“Yes, they would,” she clarified the female’s point about horses in battle, though did not go into detail about the vast amounts of battle plans that played out in her mind. She did not want to give another pack an advantage, friendship forming or not. She still had Inferni to consider, even if, for the time being, she preferred the company of this wolf than the coyotes which ranked over her. Her pride was deep-seeded, but it was flexible, so for now, it lay right in the back of her mind, locked away in one of the abandoned corridors. She needed to be different, she needed to be what they wanted – and so, she played along. But one day, probably, she would snap. She would lose it all one day, and probably Snake along with it. It scared her, but she was ready. Ready to fight for it, ready to fight against it – so the thought passed along its way, leaving her mind, and allowing the female to return to the conversation unscarred, and in a similar mood to how she had been before the thought process began.
“And yes,” she purred, nodding as she spoke, “they are the only one with horses. Though I am not sure why that is... Do you know?” Lucia wasn’t sure why she had asked the question, nor why she wanted to know – but it made the conversation continue, and that was the main thing. She was enjoying the company, and though she doubted she would tell the other female this, the thought was there. And, more than likely, the mild glimmer of emotional fire in her eyes told the story anyway. After all, given a chance, those toxic coals would betray her emotionless expressions any day. Her coals were her weakness, they revealed all. If the Aniwayan had figured that out, soon enough, Lucia would be an open book. The thought, strangely enough, was comforting.
“Oh,” Lucia continued, watching the female, her face blank once more. The smile had lingered for a while, but now it was nothing but a memory – just like everything else. “Well, I’m sure that all the members want horses really,” she remarked, “They’re probably just unsure about the training...” Lucia didn’t know, and really, she didn’t care, but the urge to respond had been greater than the lack of caring about the topic, and as such, she had made her statement with blind eyes. She just put it down to the generalised behaviour of wolves. If they were unsure of something, or were too set in their ways, they generally didn’t go for it. Well, most of the ones she had met anyway – she could be wrong, and knowing the odds, she probably was.
Liliana’s eyebrows rose, followed by a nod. It was interesting to know that the female had actually been paying attention to Lucia’s words. Her lack of confidence in herself had toyed with the idea that Liliana didn’t actually give much of a damn about what the ebony female had to say. Lucia had little self-esteem, and so, she had just played along, figuring that the topic would soon wither and die, but it didn’t, and that surprised the Inferni outsider greatly. “Well, I’m sure if you told someone in your pack, maybe one of the wiser members, they would teach you? Isn’t that part of the pack honour and all that?” She smiled bleakly, trying to offer comfort with her words, but it didn’t last long. She was an empty canvass once again, and that was probably all she would be. “Reading offers so many more opportunities,” Lucia added quickly, studying the female carefully, trying to figure her out piece by piece. “I mean, I learnt to read a while back,” she paused, remembering the hardship she had had with her mother, and how learning to read had taken her away from that horrible place. It allowed her to escape into worlds nowhere near her, and that, in all honesty, was the best escape someone like her could ask for. “Now,” she continued; her tone flat and emotionless. “Now I am able to learn almost anything that takes my fancy... I can read stories about the times when humans were here... Like I said, so much more can come from reading!”
The topic switched again. Violence came to mind, and Lucia’s eyes glowed. She often had thoughts that would probably make others turn away in disgust, thus, Lucia thrived off the idea of battle, blood and violence. It amused her, it intrigued her. She liked the reasons behind why fights were caused, she liked the mindset others fell into when battle was in the air – she remembered when she had met Snake for the first time, when the Dahlian war was still in motion. She remembered the tension he had, and the atmosphere around him. It had elevated the situation, and honestly, it had helped when they had lain in the sands together – it turned her on, and she wasn’t afraid to admit that, if he ever was to ask.
“Ah, fair enough. I guess peace is something everyone wants some time around,” Lucia’s words seemed fake and empty, but that wasn’t the case. It was just not Lucia’s opinion, but she didn’t feel like explaining why she felt the way she did today. Maybe some other time she would reveal more than just the outside of her personality to this female, but not now. There wasn’t enough trust here, there wasn’t enough friendship, and so, she would throw scraps here and there, but nothing really worth feeding on.
And then, like a lightning strike to her heart, Inferni came off the tongue of the other female. The opinion of Lucia’s clan seemed accurate, though some piece of the ebony female felt she should defend the coyotes that allowed her to be with her lover. However, she hesitated. Silence flowed in around the two women, and Lucia’s eyes travelled over the horizon again. She stared at the water, and the sky which licked the sea, almost blending into each other. She sighed quietly, it was almost inaudible, and Lucia’s heart became heavy. She was torn in thought, and she couldn’t decide what to do. She loved Snake, but this female had a point. She was nothing but an outsider, and that would be her life – if her life were to be spent solely with Snake, that is. Turning her attention back to the Aniwayan, Lucia’s eyes glazed over – that spark of emotion was gone again. She was emotionless once more.
“It is a little harsh,” she agreed, her tone weaker than before. She felt so torn, angst biting at her ankles and anger boiling in her stomach. What would she do? She didn’t know, and she doubted she ever would. Love was strong, and so, for now, she would side with that. Snake was her love, and he made her feel like no other could. That was her destiny for now, and so, she would follow blindly. Stupid or not, that was the way it would be, and if anyone told her otherwise, she would laugh in their face. She had to. It was survival from the insanity which ate away at her mind like insects to a freshly killed corpse.
“They have their reasons, I’m sure.” She added, trying to stand up for the coyote clan. It must of been a strange sight to see, a wolf speaking for the coyotes. She was sure, somewhere, someone was laughing at her. It was to be expected really – after all, how many wolves were there really who would bow down to coyotes? Lucia guessed she could probably count the numbers on one hand. Her, just her. One digit in the big, big world. No wonder she hated herself so much. “Like I said,” she finally added, trying not to become depressed over the thoughts in her head. She had to be strong; otherwise she figured Snake would find her less attractive. He was a soldier, a follower of violence and battle – and as such, weakness was unacceptable, or at least, that is what Lucia figured anyway. She would question him eventually... if she saw him again anytime soon, that is. “I don’t mind, honest. I am just there for Snake. To give him someone to come home to after a long day, and someone to eventually bare his children, if it be his will. I am an outsider purely because of my ancestry – I can’t help who my parents were, but I can help Snake... and so, this way, I can and will. They mean well... They’re just protecting their own...” She smiled weakly, recalling how Kaena had helped her when she had been attacked. The thought warmed her heart – at least some of them could withstand her, and even aid her. Lucia was grateful for that at least.
“Us, as wolves,” she paused, ignoring the fact that the woman in front of her was a partial coyote. She seemed more wolf-like anyway. “We would do the same...”