The castle would never be home, but it was the closest thing Bris felt to having one for the time being. Her true home would always be in Dahlia de Mai, but ever since the catastrophic blow-up between herself and Conor, she'd been suffering from a self-imposed feeling of not belonging. The home she shared with Conor and her nephews felt cold and unwelcoming, and the Stormbringer had been spending less and less time there lately. She'd been tied there for awhile of course, as she was the one to feed Gideon's adopted children Melee and Range, but they'd been recently weaned. No longer did Bris have to worry about being back in Dahlia at certain times to nurse the growing puppies, and the white woman found herself avoiding her packmates and home more and more as time went on.
With no time constraints forced upon the Dahlian theta, Bris found herself spending more time at the castle she'd stumbled upon a few months ago. It was hauntingly beautiful, in a strong, silent, sorrowful sort of way. Its dark atmosphere matched the shewolf's frequent mood as of late, and its thick walls sheltered her both literally and figuratively from the storms that seemed to seek her out. There was never a plethora of scents around the castle, and Bris assumed it wasn't all that popular a spot. She had a feeling that not many others either knew of or cared for the dark shadow of the structure, and that suited the woman just fine. Privacy and solitude had been the white Dahlian's closest friends lately, and she found herself preferring things that way for the time being.
Bris sighed softly as she curled up in her usual spot in the second-floor room. She was snuggled against the corner of the room, sitting atop the still-standing bed with her knees pulled to her chest as she stared out the window at the clear blue sky. The weather today was exactly the opposite of the light woman's dark mood, but the innermost depths of the castle still reflected that perfectly. Sunlight streamed through the glassless casement, lighting the far side of the room brightly as Bris huddled instead in shadow. For the past few weeks, the mother-to-be had felt nothing but disconnected and hollow, despite the life growing in her womb. Even now, as she struggled to think of things beside her current predicament, her left hand was resting protectively across the growing swell of her belly.
Sapphire and amethyst eyes stared wistfully at the passing clouds. This should have been a happy time for Bris and Conor. They loved one another, didn't they? No, she shouldn't think of it that way. There was no denying Bris' own feelings for the alpha, and she knew in her heart that Conor still felt the same toward her, despite his terrified reaction at what had come from their lovemaking. Bris had reacted to his fear with anger, and over the past few weeks, she realized that she'd been foolish and selfish to react in that way. As her emotions had finally come under control over the course of a few days, Bris realized the reason for her beloved's outrageous idea of aborting their children, even if she didn't understand the reason behind the male's fear. After all, she was terrified as well. Bris had helped to raise many of the orphaned puppies that had come to be taken in by Dahlia de Mai, including her own brother's offspring, but this would be different. Dahlia's next litter would be her own, and there was no denying it would change things for her. Aside from that, Bris knew that in childbirth, she would face the possibility that every mother-to-be feared most: death. No, it wasn't the prospect of death that she really feared, it was leaving her newborn children without a mother that truly froze her heart with the icy grip of terror.
Bris sighed heavily as she forced the fear back. God how she wished Kol were still alive. If there were ever a time the white woman was in need of her big sister's support, it was now. But there was no use in wishing for things that could never be. Kol was gone, and was never coming back. Bris knew her spirit was always with her, but it wasn't the same, could never be the same. With how badly things had gone between her and Conor, Bris found herself now in a self-imposed box of isolation in a time when she needed support the most. Instead of happiness and love, her heart was filled with fear and regret, and a hollowness that she knew could only be filled by one person alone. And Bris would be surprised if that person even realized how she still felt about him, with the hurtful words she'd accosted him with those few weeks ago.
Table by James!