you won't ever save your soul
#4
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SSWM: 407

There was within him a capacity to love. Larkspur had been beaten, starved, abused to within an inch of his life. He had had everything taken from him—compassion, family, purpose. They granted him his faith, for all of the Khalif must believe, and so he had clung to such a thing desperately. It was within him to love because he had hated. He hated his family and he had hated the terrible things they had done to him. Each time he had fought them it was with hate, but never with the intent to kill. Not until that terrible day when the fire had been calling for him and they had come. Larkspur had fought then for his life, even though it was an empty thing, because he was a simple creature who knew simply he did not wish to die. He had nearly killed his own cousin, struggling against them, and likely would have taken at least one with him if not for divine intervention.

Misery had been the first he had loved. She alone had given him affection, shown him what it was to feel. He was stupid, but not slow. Larkspur too had the capacity for knowledge. He learned from her quickly. He behaved as she instructed and soon had become capable of living without aid. When she had left, he had turned to a pack only out of desperation. Now, the same was true. Anathema had offered him sanctuary and offered this woman he had come to know as his own sanctuary as well. Now they had children, children that she offered to him as if they belonged to the D’Angelo male alone. Perhaps this was what she wanted.

He stared down at the tiny things, squirming to find heat, and saw what she did not. He saw them as power in the making, as a prophecy finally fulfilled. Three living children, and one who was salvation—white, as he had been told to become. Larkspur smiled for himself them, and smiled because he knew his fate was sealed. He had done right. Now there was only the need to ensure they lived, for that was the key to his own existence. Larkspur looked up to Eris and moved the children back to her, nudging her neck lovingly with his nose. He said nothing but breathed in her scent and made low noises deep in his throat.

Finally, he had been saved.

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