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He couldn’t bear to look at her; every time he did gather up enough courage to sneak a glance, she had a different hurt expression. When she repeated what Claudius said about Tayui’s departure, all Claudius could do was wince and nod. He closed his eyes for a moment in an attempt to steady himself. Instead of calming him, it had the opposite effect: he went flailing after he stumbled over a root, but didn’t think he hit Oce or her horse. He caught his balance – and opened his eyes – in time to hear his sister reply. He didn’t know what to say; she had indeed left him, though not the way Ocèane thought. He and Tayui had argued over it and he had felt so betrayed, but now, he just wanted to stand up for his mother. Ocèane hadn’t been here through everything – she didn’t know what either of them had experienced and he felt it was wrong to judge her for leaving. Suddenly, he realized that he too couldn’t judge her for her decisions – not really. They had both reacted to Noir’s death differently and even though Claudius had thought she was all alright, she had apparently been shaken up enough to leave the tribe. She had left her home and Claudius.
When Ocèane posed her question, Claudius felt his throat close up a bit. He tried to choke out a response, but all he got was a weird low whine. He shook his head in response, since it hadn’t been a joke at all. It wasn’t a joke; he was serious. He supposed it was a huge shock to return home to, but Claudius wasn’t sure how long she would stick around. He also hoped he wouldn’t scare her off, either.
Claudius struggled to remember the details about Noir’s death when Ocèane asked. He didn’t want to say how it happened, but as he thought about it, everything flooded back to him. He had most definitely been repressing a lot of memories about Noir.
“She… she…” he began, but stopped. His eyes were welling up and he was shaking a little. Soon, he knew he would start twitching too. He hated it. “She was… k-k-k… k-killed. By a… wolf… n-n-n-n-amed H-h-a… Haku… S-Soul.” He paused for a moment and then added: “do you r-r-r-remember h-h-ow momma never t-t-told us the n-n-ame of our d-d-daddy? I-i… it was ‘cuz she didn’t want h-h-him to h-h-h-hurt us. And he… he… did. He hurt us. H-h-he h-h-hurt Noir.” She squeezed his eyes together, unable to look at Ocèane anymore. He couldn’t keep walking anymore. He stopped and began to wring his hands together, unable to think about what Ocèane might think of all of this. She was finally home and she had to return to this. Claudius didn’t want to be the messenger boy anymore.