Red Sun at Midnight

Ralla · 01-30-2011, 09:55 PM

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Here comes a long one >.> PRAY I DON'T HIT THE BACK BUTTON! >.<

Kemo's light tone began to fall in octaves, and Ralla felt as if her spirit was being dragged down with it as the foreboding grew. And as she listened, her eyes grew larger and larger as her heart pounded. Rape...? Kemo had...? And then he said AniWaya. Oh no, no, no, no, no... He had raped one of her family... How was she supposed to react to that? She had said she would always forgive him, but could she cleanse and protect him? I...I don't think I can. And that was just harsh reality; Ralla didn't have the power to protect Kemo from anything--including his own deeds--as much as he claimed he could protect her. And now she was torn, because she hadn't noticed that anyone within her tribe had been raped--which saddened her greatly with the fact she had not noticed beforehand--and now she had the obligation to report it. But could she? After she finally had her revelation to how she felt about Kemo...? What am I suppossed to do...? AniWaya... Kemo... A war began within her head, all the while she screamed at herself; Which is the real Kemo? With her eyes wide open, even in shock, she could see the snow and entire area around them engulfed in the crimson stain of the moon.

The prophecy had come true.

And then the puppies. He had burned puppies alive. What had become of Kemo when she wasn't looking? Or had he always been like this? She refused to believe that, even as he went on about him enjoying it. If she had had control of her body, Ralla would've grasped a hand to her throat to choke back the rising bile, but as it was, it settled in her mouth, coating her tongue with a bitter taste. At first, anger took its stand in her heart, even as she still knelt listening and still as ancient stone. She continued to rail at herself that this wasn't the real Kemo even as she fought to keep herself from slapping the white wolf or demanding him to tell her why he had done it; nevermind the junk excuse of enjoying it he was giving. But then the anger cooled to rational pity. She had forseen this, had she not? She had predicted the dual nature of Sagitarrius, and had she been less casual, less of a fool, about the whole affair, she maybe could've watched Kemo closer to try and prevent what had happened. But then that was counteracted; she couldn't have been there for everything. Back and forth her emotions see-sawed, almost taking her still body with them. She felt like she was spiraling down into a very dark place; somewhere she welcomed just to make the noise of war in her head stop.

Silence.

Even as the world around her went on, endless silence seemed to stretch in an empty place deep within the white wolfess. More than ever, she felt the crescent moon brand on her forehead burn, because it was reminding her of her original sin against her native pack; her betrayel. And then all her selfish desires followed, the only noise being that silent void, even though the emotions were exponentially loud as they built. And then they went away, being replaced by her repetitive mental ranting; What am I supposed to do? Within her dark space, Ralla looked up to a black sky that had no moon, no stars, and no voice. It wasn't as if the moon would tell her what she had to do specifically anyway; it didn't work like that. But she had always depended and believed in the moon; had always believed that it would shepherd and protect all who were in its tribe. Was this its retribution for her and Kemo's running away? Or...? Did it bring them together to weather--to support--one another; to supplement each other's flaws? Was it by the moon's design that she felt the way she did...?

All of a sudden she was back in the real world, Kemo kneeling in front of her, the color red permeating the scene around them, her breath coming in shallow draws of air, and the words 'I love you' echoing in her ears, because Kemo had said them. With a blinding speed, she raised her arms--not to hit him or slap him or shove him away--but to clutch his head to her chest as she sobbed and cried with all the fervor of a terrified pup, because that's how she felt. She felt helpless against the world that seemed to come crashing down around her so often, and she didn't know what to do. Her tears slid over her cheeks and down onto Kemo's head and ears as she kept his head in a death-grip to her breast, babbling through the salt water. "It's alright...! It's alright...! I'll...I'll help you... We can figure something out... I won't give up on you; all sins can be forgiven...!" On and on the words went as she tried to protect Kemo...from himself. But she couldn't do that, could she? All she could do was stand by him and try. Ralla never admitted it to herself, nor did she view it as a fault, but she was infinitly kind. No matter what happened to her, she always seemed to forgive the transgressor. No matter what happened to others, she believed that the commitors of the crime were the true victims; because really, they were lost inside, and were just as helpless as to what else to do as she was.
Of course she would be mad, but where would extended rage get anyone? More blood. More sorrow. More emptiness. Oh how she wished that life could always be as bright as the Great Fire; always be as bright as the full crescent moon on a clear night. But it could never be so. Never.

She rocked gently back and forth as if Kemo were the one who was really crying, because it was the only thing keeping her from just sitting there like an idiot and letting herself run. She was so tired of running, because that really got her nowhere either. Trouble was always around, and...light followed trouble, because things are always worse before they get better. "It's alright... I forgive you... You can fix it all..." Can he? Can he really? Things are always easier said than done, and based on Kemo's list, his crimes were very high priced; not so easy to repay. But if he worked hard... If he really tried to make amends... She believed he could. Anyone--everyone--could... It would be so wrong and cruel if they couldn't, because everyone made mistakes, forget the magnitude. The mere thought that sins stay with a person forever, without even a hope of retribution... It made Ralla tremble to her core, because she never wanted to be in the dark.

Nuzzling her muzzle into Kemo's neck, she pet his head, almost trying to sweep the sins away, as if she could. It wasn't like any other time, where a person's sins would bother her but she only saw the good in them, because of the way she felt about Kemo. She was most assuredly rushing the emotions, but as it was, with all the emotional turmoil and stress, she was so confused, because it was also her first time feeling like she did. She had never cried so hard, except for the day she was told she would be locked away forever in the Shaman's Cave. And now there she was, repeating her sorry state of being, mourning for the pups and the wolfesses--most especially the wolfess in her tribe--but more so for Kemo; because he had done it, Ralla believed that he was the one more lost than anyone else. But maybe not... Unlike murder, rape stayed with a person for as long as they lived; scarring them. She would pray for these unknown wolfesses' recovery of spirit, most assuredly. But Kemo had to, too. She would help him... She would attempt to find out who in her tribe had been wronged, and beg for Kemo's forgiveness... Because, what else could he do? Certain things couldn't be made up so simply. But they would try, by all powers of the moon and Great Spirits; Ralla begged for his forgivness, because she had already given hers by promise, and the Spirits could not forgive until the transgressor first admitted his wrong from the bottom of his heart. More than ever, Ralla wanted to keep him close; to protect him, even if she was powerless. Again and again she asked:

Great moon and Spirits of the world and beyond; please help me...

Moon walks. "Moon talks." Moon thinks.

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