Amazing view

Itzal · 02-07-2011, 06:06 PM

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692, and Thanks, Shannon made it for me, and Yeah, my muse has been kind of dead lately.

Itzal was doing better now. He was in complete control. He had pushed it down into himself again. He sighed with relief, it was exhausting to have to fight with himself internally. And it was getting harder lately. One of the reasons he lived so well with himself before, when he was a wanderer, was because he fought with others he meant often. And when he fought, he let that part of him out some, enough to influence him, but not make him stupid and beyond reason. It helped settle the darker part, and give him an advantage in battle. However, since he had come here and decided to settle in, he had not had a good fight any time recently. He was a skilled fighter, but even he had his limitations. But even with that thought in mind, that part of him always desideratumed more, always wanted a better fighter. Few that he had meant had the tatical mind for fighting he did. He did not just fight blindly, he planned and thought. He was actually very smart, he had just never had to apply that intelligence to anything more sophsicated like history or reading/writing. He sighed, again.

He smirked at her words and looked at her smiling. "I hope you would be able to tell. And You're right, I don't have any intentions to." He lied, smoothly, part of him had, but now, the part in control, did not, so it was only a half lie. He smiled at her and then turned back to the tree, walking over and pulling the knife out of the tree, he turned back around and walked over and sat by the fire, slipping his knife back into the pouch and laying back. He was good at acting relaxed, at being unconcered. The truth was he was paying attention to the female. He did not drop his guard a lot, if ever. He did not trust her, just like she probably did not trust him, and he understood the mutual feeling. It was a very strong emtion, trust, one that people had to work to earn, and even then, there was a chance they never would earn a certain person's trust. Itzal smiled to himself at the thought. He did not care if people trusted him or not, as long as they knew not to mess with him.

Itzal closed his eyes and listened to the fire crackle, feeling the warmth it let off as it bathed his skin in its warm embrace. He thought about all those people who would never feel this again, who would never see the sky filled with stars. It was because of him, he had killed them, some he had no reason to kill other then his own gain. He did not care about them, they had been nothing to him, but they still had a life. It did not change the way he felt, he knew there were people out there tha would kill him just to kill him. It might be for some self gain, or just for fun, to feel the power it gave them. He knew that power, he knew he was a monster, he had no right to live, no right to feel this warmth, but he still felt it. And the part that made him all the more sure of his demonic nature, was the fact he felt no saddness, not regret for what he had done. He did not shed tears for them, he did not torture himself about it, he just accepted what he had done. The only thing he did was try to make up for it, he tried to do what he could to prove he deserved to live, but it still did not change what he had done, or what he is.

Itzal stirred from his thoughts at Axelle's words, opening his eyes and nodding slightly. "Ok then, we will be leaving soon." He smiled and closed his eyes again, letting his mind wander like it always did. As soon as he felt it was late enough for them to leave, he planned on setting out.

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