What was he doing? A very good question, and he did not want to search for answers that could please his newly promoted gamma. Everything was so horribly wrong, and he knew that she would not understand, so why even bother to try to explain? His mind was no longer the calm, endless ocean of tranquillity that it once had been. Everything inside him had come undone, or so it seemed. Two years of hard mental work had crumbled to bits. But perhaps it was a good thing that he could not hide behind his denial anymore. He had always known—always felt the corruption behind his skin. But did a madman ever realize the truth of his flawed nature?
”I can’t stay here anymore, Nayru,” his voice whispered, the words hurting him as surely as they would her. He turned to her, though it was one of the hardest things he had ever done. How could he look anyone in the eye after realizing what he was. A freak of nature; everything he had never wanted to be. When would he turn on his own people? When would his control be lost forever? He was not his father reborn, but he was the devil’s son, and the father’s sins reached out through him. No, he could not allow this to happen! He would not!
Hesitation had seized him now, but he could not allow himself to soften. He did this for the ones he loved. They did not have to understand. It was surreal to abandon a life he had believed to flawless. It was tempting to stay, but by doing so he was certain he would doom them all.
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