04-24-2008, 06:53 PM
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Haaai Noxii. <3 You're awesome. [WC: 566]
More and more, Anka wasn't at home.
She liked her pack. She wasn't particularly close with any of the members, but she didn't have any reason to dislike them. They all seemed to be decent, and she'd never had any problems with them. But this was a brave new world. Her life had warped overnight. She didn't want to pretend that everything was the same -- it wasn't, and for that, she was certainly glad. She wouldn't have wanted it to be the same anymore. She'd left a good bit of who she used to be to burn with the fire, with the lands of her ancestors. The curse that had lingered on her lips all her life, now seemed replaced with new words. And she couldn't always find all the right things to say, but it seemed like things were looking up. Looking up was good.
Rock bottom had been the beginning of a grave half-dug by the time of the fire. Hopeless and alone, she'd been destroying herself piece by piece. As the pain had persisted within her, she'd become to lost within it to stop the self-mutilation without. But then the sky rained fire, spat flames in her face. She was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. And not because of what she was, or who her parents were, or how she'd come into life. Because of who she was. Because she chose the easy way -- glorified suffering, beautiful disaster. Wrong. She was her own making. 10% circumstance, 90% reaction. Her reactions had been understandable at best... unjustified and dramatic at worst. It was time for a clean up.
A brush with death had taught her that.
There was something about being saved by her father, whom she hated, that made her look at the world a little differently. She'd never given him a reason to care. She'd been cold and angry, and perhaps rightfully so... then again, maybe not so much. He tried. In his own sick, perverse way... he might have been there for her, if she'd let him. Never mind Aiji's rejection of the male; that was a different story. But when she'd returned, he might have taken her in. But she'd already judged him, before she even saw his face. She'd already made up her mind, perhaps without even knowing it, before he even spoke.
Today was a new day. She sat against a tree in the woods, her crimson eyes scanning the scenery, the scar across the left side still stiffening the movement of the eye it had protected in battle. Her arm rested on her bag; she was still nursing her shoulder to a certain degree, especially since it had started bleeding earlier. She was far from home, and she was relatively sure that walking that far was not an option currently. Once she healed up, it would be better. Ahren had brought her home after the fight, but she'd not stayed long; she needed her space. She was still working through everything.
It would be okay. But not today.
Her eyes caught on a dark form, and she murmured softly, adjusting her injured arm. "G'day," she greeted the male, raising her other arm in greeting. "Looks like rain again." Her eyes lifted to the sky for a moment, then lowered back to his form. She'd never been good at small talk. Something she'd have to work on.
Haaai Noxii. <3 You're awesome. [WC: 566]
More and more, Anka wasn't at home.
She liked her pack. She wasn't particularly close with any of the members, but she didn't have any reason to dislike them. They all seemed to be decent, and she'd never had any problems with them. But this was a brave new world. Her life had warped overnight. She didn't want to pretend that everything was the same -- it wasn't, and for that, she was certainly glad. She wouldn't have wanted it to be the same anymore. She'd left a good bit of who she used to be to burn with the fire, with the lands of her ancestors. The curse that had lingered on her lips all her life, now seemed replaced with new words. And she couldn't always find all the right things to say, but it seemed like things were looking up. Looking up was good.
Rock bottom had been the beginning of a grave half-dug by the time of the fire. Hopeless and alone, she'd been destroying herself piece by piece. As the pain had persisted within her, she'd become to lost within it to stop the self-mutilation without. But then the sky rained fire, spat flames in her face. She was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. And not because of what she was, or who her parents were, or how she'd come into life. Because of who she was. Because she chose the easy way -- glorified suffering, beautiful disaster. Wrong. She was her own making. 10% circumstance, 90% reaction. Her reactions had been understandable at best... unjustified and dramatic at worst. It was time for a clean up.
A brush with death had taught her that.
There was something about being saved by her father, whom she hated, that made her look at the world a little differently. She'd never given him a reason to care. She'd been cold and angry, and perhaps rightfully so... then again, maybe not so much. He tried. In his own sick, perverse way... he might have been there for her, if she'd let him. Never mind Aiji's rejection of the male; that was a different story. But when she'd returned, he might have taken her in. But she'd already judged him, before she even saw his face. She'd already made up her mind, perhaps without even knowing it, before he even spoke.
Today was a new day. She sat against a tree in the woods, her crimson eyes scanning the scenery, the scar across the left side still stiffening the movement of the eye it had protected in battle. Her arm rested on her bag; she was still nursing her shoulder to a certain degree, especially since it had started bleeding earlier. She was far from home, and she was relatively sure that walking that far was not an option currently. Once she healed up, it would be better. Ahren had brought her home after the fight, but she'd not stayed long; she needed her space. She was still working through everything.
It would be okay. But not today.
Her eyes caught on a dark form, and she murmured softly, adjusting her injured arm. "G'day," she greeted the male, raising her other arm in greeting. "Looks like rain again." Her eyes lifted to the sky for a moment, then lowered back to his form. She'd never been good at small talk. Something she'd have to work on.
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