Occurences

Skye Collins · 06-05-2011, 06:19 PM

That's good, but always try to strive for at least 200 words when you're posting - maybe you could add a bit on how Ayasha felt about Bangle, and Roran Wolfe, and instead of jumping straight from mates to the name of Skye's pack, she could think about it a bit first;

Quote:As Aysha approached the light colored female, she knew how she knew that scent. She meet Bangle and she could smell him on her. She had liked Bangle - he was nice and had a lot in common with her. He hadn't mentioned Skye, but she was sure by the smell that they had been together a lot. So they must be mates. "Hi Skye!" She gave Skye a grin. "Would you happen to know a male named Bangle? He came to AniWaya not too long ago." She was pretty sure they were mates.

She smiled softly at the thought of mates. Soon she would be mates with Roran Wolfe. She remembered when she first had met him, and remembered how it was to be in a relationship with him. Then she would be Ayasha Wolfe. She liked the sound of that. She shook her head slightly.

When she had met Bangle, he mentioned the pack that he had come from, and she smelled the same pack on Skye as well; it had to do with art or trading. What was the name of her pack? "Your pack is named...something Art, right?" She wasn't sure. She didn't even know where that was. Ayasha had yet to go very far beyond the borders of AniWaya. "It's nice here. Do you often come here?"

Those details alone bumped the word count from 137 to 222; it's not difficult to make a longer post, but it is important! In your next post, you could maybe think about pups, or gardening, or even the scenery around them!
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The creamy white female smiled at the thought of her mate, Bangle - she could imagine how the excitable salesman could have traveled to AniWaya to sell something, persuading people with his trademark 'you liiiiiike?' In fact, that was how she had first met him - he had tried to trade her a small piece of beautiful, rose-colored glass, and they had become great friends from there. Now they had three beautiful pups who were growing every day in their own unique ways.

"I do know Bangle; he's my mate," she said. "In fact, we recently had pups - three healthy ones. Cercatori d'Arte is growing every day," she said, supplying the name of her pack, as Ayasha seemed to be having trouble.

"And it is, in fact, a beautiful day in a beautiful area," she said. "I come here sometimes, but not as much as I should - there are so many plants here, it'd be great for the garden back at home," she said thoughtfully. Her nose could tell her the scents of many plants right now that would go wonderfully in the garden with great use to her and the pack; she had already harvested the first of the waxy berries used to make candles and had melted the wax off of them with fire to make a very crude, but functional, candle which to light her home with. The creation had delighted her.

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