In a forest

['Souls Mentors]

Hey Vincent! Your writing is starting to get better! You still have some common, general errors that need a bit of work, though.

Here is a useful page for learning the differences between "to", "too", and "two". It's easy to get them confused when you are first learning.

This is another good website for learning English. It has lots of pages of info on just about everything in the language.

I mentioned this one before, but this page of the RP Guide is really helpful for beginning to improve your writing!

Below I have included a quick review of your post, with corrected items shown in bold, and a description of how to fix it beneath.

For the most part, though, you really just need to pay closer attention to your writing. Re-reading your posts before you submit them is a really good way to catch many of these errors.

With slow passens Raymo was walking in a friendly attitude, in a big and living forest.

Passens: Did you mean paces here? Also, it is grammatically sound to say "in a ____ attitiude" but it's more common to hear people say "with a ____ attitude."

He lifted his paws gently and with each step he felted the sweet and soft grass under his paws and claws.

Felted: Felt would be correct here. Feel is one of those many awkward, irregular verbs in English. Feel/feels/felt.

He heard the birds singing and raymo saw some bunnies and anther little forest animals running from him.

Other?

When they spotted him. The just run for there lives.

"When they spotted him, they just ran for their lives."

"When they spotted him" by itself is a sentence fragment, or an incomplete thought. While these aren't always incorrect, in this case it is incorrect. Here's a tip for you, from the site I linked: "One way to recognize sentence fragments is to learn which words often signal phrases or incomplete thoughts: although, because, especially, even, except, for example, if, including, instead of, so that, since, such as, that, which, who, and when. Not all sentence fragments have such tip-off words, but when you see a sentence beginning with one of these words, you should check to see if it's a complete thought. "

But it was fun too see them running that made him laugh.

To/too/two are often confused -- try to make sure you have the right one. You make the same mistake a few other places, too:

Too see where he was and where the waterfall was.

Around too see where the sounds where coming from.

He was a bit thirsty ,Hopefully i will find some water soon. Thought raymo by himself. when he continued his walk throw the forest.

Okay, here it gets a little rough. I have corrected it for you:

He was a bit thirsty. Hopefully, I will find some water soon, thought Raymo to himself as he continued his walk through the forest.

When a character thinks to themselves, you should treat it almost like dialogue. For example, if there is a word like "thought" after the character's thought to indicate that they are thinking to themselves, you should end the thought with a comma. For example:

Wow, these mountains are really tall, thought the coyote to himself as he continued to trek up the side of the peak.

Also, through/throw are sometimes confused -- when you throw something, you heave it from your hand and send it into the air. When you go through something, you pass in one side and out the other. You've also made this mistake a few times.

I also notice you using "en" instead of "and" on occasion:

Raymo toke a deep breath en smelled fresh water not far from him.

Should be:

Raymo took a deep breath and smelled fresh water not far from him.

Basically -- try to re-read over your post. If you think something sounds awkward or off, try to re-word it yourself, and use grammar references as often as you can. :3

IN CHARACTER

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It had been nearly a full day since he had eaten, and so Enlil was quite hungry. Through the forest he moved, quickly and deliberately; one hand carried a fishing spear. The other hand moved to his stomach to silence it's growls for food; the river was nearby, surely he could find some tasty fish there. The rust-colored Optime man was on a mission.

The trip to the river wouldn't take long, despite being slower on two legs than four. It didn't matter much to Enlil; he enjoyed the walk, most days. The air was cool, and as he neared the river, the scent on the breeze became more marine. The reddish wolf moved his head into the wind to catch something else on it. There was a strange smell there; unfamiliar, but definitely canine. Silent, Enlil changed course slightly to move towards the nearby waterfall. He couldn't fish too well here, with all of the moving water, but it certainly was a nice place to relax.

Relaxing must have been what was on the stranger's mind, because there beneath a tree lay the source of the scent that had caught Enlil's attention. A ruddy brown and creme hybrid of some sort, curled in the shadow. He looked mostly dog, but Enlil couldn't be sure from the distance. The stranger's fur was clearly damp, though; someone had enjoyed the water.

Not wanting to disturb the sleeping man, Enlil instead moved quietly around him, golden eyes alert and keeping watch of the stranger. His gaze fell to the water, and he lowered his spear towards the surface, peering in intently. Perhaps he might find prey here despite the falls.

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