a liar and a heretic

[Hybrid Holocaust]

WC: 302
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[/html]How could Gabriel allow one, but deny the other? Hybrid understood that you couldn’t become gay or anything stupid like that; he knew he had been and always was and would be gay, but it didn’t mean Gabriel couldn’t do something for or with him. There was no gender in pleasure and there was no judgment in hedonism. If there was anything pure within Hybrid, it was his understanding of his sexuality, whatever it was. Where he understood himself completely and lived without abandon, Gabriel posed so many restrictions on himself: right, wrong, right, right, wrong; how could you ever define these things so subtly? It was unnecessary.

Hybrid could see anger in Gabriel, but could not understand why. Why, when he had done so much for the Aquila, could he not be returned any favours? Hybrid had recognized, albeit very late, that many things he did Gabriel believed to be ‘wrong’, but let him do them anyways. He resented that Gabriel thought he had nothing left to offer the clan. How could it be ‘just’ security, ‘only’ safety, or ‘simply’ freedom? He protected these things because although he’d rather be making others lives insecure, he did what he needed to for Inferni, for Gabriel. He had sacrificed his ultimate freedoms, too.

He could understand that Gabriel did not know of or care about his sacrifices. He had always existed knowing that there were many things Gabriel would not understand about him. But he could not fathom why this had anything to do with his sister, or what more Gabriel had wanted from him.

“What more do you want? And what does this have to do with my sister? She left years ago, but I’ve always been here. I never left,” so why couldn’t Gabriel see that? And what had Gabriel wanted him for that mattered so much?[html]

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