Cue the crying! (WC: 437)
He was wrong. He did need his brother’s help, but not like this: not because his brother felt like he owed him something or because he felt obligated. If anything, Claudius wanted to really feel like they were brothers, not just two random strangers coincidentally connected by blood relation. There was no real relationship or semblance of belonging in that sad scenario and Claudius desperately wanted to create a world where he belonged.
Sure enough, Attila was doing what he did best: criticizing Claudius. He knew that Gerenuk certainly did a fine job of this, too, but he also knew that Gerenuk had his best interests at heart, like all spirit guides did. But he could never be too sure with Attila.
He squeaked loudly and jerked his head up in response, but did not say anything. Instead, he stilled his active hands so that he stood, clasping onto his wrists with his hands. He glanced away for a moment and then looked back at Attila, trying to find a way to explain it. He didn’t get far, since quickly, Attila returned the conversation to the real problem. Apparently, Claudius mused, he was no longer the old brother here. He never thought it really mattered since they were all born on the same day, but apparently was significant to Attila. Claudius shrugged helplessly and said nothing, yet.
He couldn’t say anything. Not when Attila was right anyways. He was a stupid, useless little boy and there wasn’t really much else he could do about it. He’d fallen so deeply into a depression after Noir died and Tayui left and he felt like he was only just beginning to pull himself out of the hole he’d dug for himself. But hearing this all only re-affirmed his suspicions. He was useless and he was worthless. Not even his own brother could love him.
“I--” he began, but found no real words would come out. He took a long, gasping breath, and tried again: “A--A--t...”
Still nothing.
He felt tears welling up in his eyes. He stuttered a few more attempts before he took a few steps back. He clutched his hands close to his chest, flattened his ears, and hunched his shoulders forward a bit. He had to be crying now. Why did his brother hate him so much?
“I--I... ju-u-u-u-hh... h.... ju-hust...” he began, but succumbed to a wheezing sob before continuing: “do-o-on’t... waa-a-ha-ah-hant... y-you to fe-eel... o-oblig...a-ated... I... w-would o... only wa-a-a-aha-anant you-ou-our he-e-lp if... y-ou w-a-a-ant to... be-e-e-e-cause you... ca-a-a-re ab-ou-out me... no-o-ot because... y-you th-th-ink you owe... it... becau-ause... N... N-n... Noi-oi... r... di-ie-ed...”